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Is this ok???

(9 Posts)
faye0310 Tue 28-May-13 08:51:16

Hi so I split from my dd father 6 months ago. I went out on Saturday and starting getting attention from men which hasn't happened for the 8 years I was with ex!! So I ended up meeting a ah hem younger man wink and he took my number since then there has been some rather explicit text messages exchanged! Is this ok to be having a bit of fun? I feel like I am doing something wrong. Life has been a bit shit the past few months and was quite nice to get shown a bit of attention (hadnt happened for a while with ex)
Anyone else been in a similar situation??

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 28-May-13 09:02:44

It's not wrong to have fun. However, after six months of being on your own, it's flattering to get attention and you should just be conscious of that. If it feels wrong i.e. you feel uncomfortable with tacky text messages, don't feel obliged to go along with it just for the sake of it. Set your own standards. Good luck

faye0310 Tue 28-May-13 09:07:29

It's not that I feel like the messages are wrong it's that I feel guilty for doing it if that makes sense. But I am single so is he we aren't hurting anyone? Thank u for the reply smile.
Ps he is very hot!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 28-May-13 09:13:37

If you're single you do what you want, of course. I always have.. Expect the guilt is probably a hangover from 8 years with the same person. However, just saying that if it feels wrong or if you feel uncomfortable don't dismiss it as irrational or ignore it completely. Hot men and lust can take you down some very dodgy paths in life and sometimes a bad feeling turns out to have been there for a good reason.

faye0310 Tue 28-May-13 09:24:19

I don't think it's a bad feeling about what I'm doing I just can't look the ex in the eye when he comes to see dd!! I feel like I am acting like a teenager again! I am only 26 tho!! It feels quite nice to have something that isn't to do with a breakup with a cheating ex, a tantrum throwing toddler and an ill mother x

niceupthedance Tue 28-May-13 09:27:59

I say do it if it's fun, stop it when it's not.

Was in similar situation a little while ago, it made me smile... But also I found it very distracting from real life issues so just be aware of that. Also that lewd texting usually means they are only up for a fling (if that).

faye0310 Tue 28-May-13 09:45:14

I'm not ready for anything more ten a fling lol grin x

faye0310 Tue 28-May-13 16:54:27


mrsdrew Tue 28-May-13 18:49:39

Have a fling if you want, text if you want! I've had some very enjoyable text sessions with people which have been fun and flattering!. You're doing nothing wrong and Ive found that they're sometimes a good way 'to dip your toe back in the water' so to speak. I did a similar thing after a break- up. I hadn't been dating or even looking at men like that for 7 yrs and was really worried I wouldn't remember what to do!. I met someone and did a 'text thing' for a while. I always knew nothing real would come of it but it meant I'd done a fair bit of flirting and got a bit of confidence back (and was much less nervous) by the time I was ready to meet someone 'properly'. As long as you do what you're comfortable with and don't read too much into it I don't think It's at all bad!

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