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Keeping my exes around, but why?

(6 Posts)
Movingforward123 Sun 26-May-13 13:57:01

I have been separated from dds dad for nearly 3 years, we only spoke regarding dd for a long time, but recently spelt together twice and he became very involved in my life again. I don't want to be with him big for some reason I don't seem to be moving on.

During the time we have been apart I started seeing another guy, it wasnt really serious or committed but lasted for about 2 years very on and off.

Now he is trying to be involved with me again and keeps trying to make contact. I speak to him a little. And recently slept with him too.

Movingforward123 Sun 26-May-13 13:59:39

I seem to not be moving on from these guys. I don't want to be with either of them so why am I keeping them around?

I'm wondering if its because I am worried about getting into a new relationship and investing myself again! I'm feeling very confused about it all at the moment.

Theselittlelightsofmine Sun 26-May-13 14:13:38

My guess is they are "a fall back" just incase you don't find anyone else, I used to do the same until I realised I was much happier with out my Ex around, I then embraced being a single mother and met someone a few months after and really did not want to know him but he persisted and we have now been together 12 years grin

Movingforward123 Sun 26-May-13 19:36:36

grin glad to hear it worked out well in the end!

Well I am now in a tricky situation as exp is very much on my case and the other ex is also texting a lot. I really need to have a final end to both.

I wonder if I'm not letting go as I feel worried about getting into a new relationship incase it all goes wrong again. But I havnt been in a proper relationship for a long time now.

Belle12 Sun 26-May-13 20:25:22

I can so relate to this!

Can I ask if you worry about coping alone? It seems you are worried about commitment and it may be that you don't see potential for long term happiness with either of them or are worried about things going wrong again.

It may be better for you to end things once and for all with them both (I know this could be easier said than done), take some time out to concentrate on what makes you happy and what you hope for in a relationship.

Movingforward123 Sun 26-May-13 20:57:54

I don't think I worry about coping alone, as I've mostly always been alone with dd. I think part of me just likes having someone there, but at a distance.

And I do think I worry about commitment. Also my parents had a terrible relationship so I don't think I really have much of an idea what I hope to have in a relationship.

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