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Should people in love say it or show it.

(16 Posts)
Katiebristol4 Wed 22-May-13 23:10:03

My boyfriend has not said he loves me for 7 months.we have been together nearly two years. He told for the first time after 8 months. He said it a a couple of time since but nothing since. He treats me well spending at least 5 days a week together.weare late thirties. Is this normal?

KittyVonCatsworth Wed 22-May-13 23:11:32

Show it. Talk can be cheap.

ChasingStaplers Wed 22-May-13 23:12:36

Another poster linked to something about ways of showing love. Something like this, I think: here

If he's treating you well perhaps he thinks this is enough. If you like to hear it then is have a chat with him about it as he might not realise.

SinisterSal Wed 22-May-13 23:16:35

Better than the other way around. If he does show it in a genuine way hen you know it
Personally in that situation i'd consider it a minor trade off. We 're all different thugh

dontyouwantmebaby Wed 22-May-13 23:26:58

There is no 'normal' or right/wrong. I think it depends on the person/couple. I know some who are always declaring their love for each other and that's fine for them. But its not for me, as long as I feel that I'm loved, actions speak louder than words. Though sometimes I agree it is nice to have it said out loud to you.

We are all different, some people need verbal reassurance, so if you'd like to hear it more often then tell your partner this. Otherwise if you genuinely feel 'loved' and are content, don't compare it to what anyone else does. It's how you feel that is important.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 23-May-13 01:02:04

Maybe he just thinks you know he loves you. Do you?

Dp shows me in a million ways but i would squeel and die happy to get a huge cuddle and an i love you one day .. it's been instilled in him by his mum that 'men don't show feelings' sad so he is emotionally stunted - he knows he loves me but just isn't secure enough to say it. I understand but it still sucks.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 23-May-13 06:06:04

It doesn't actually matter if it's normal or not, if you like to be told you're loved more frequently, tell him.

Lweji Thu 23-May-13 06:18:25

Do you say it?
What does he say when you say it?

cory Thu 23-May-13 08:01:26

Different people have different ways of showing it. Some say it occasionally, some say it all the time, some show it by actions, some by just being there.

But as Cogito says, if you like being told- then tell him.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 23-May-13 08:03:14

Btw... saying it and showing it are not mutually exclusive. It is quite normal to do both.

Katiebristol4 Thu 23-May-13 09:18:53

I have said it a few times, he just gives me big cuddle and looks like a happy cat. He is very affectionate, so I cannot complain about that. Like cogitoEgosometimes says, I thought the two go hand in hand. I don,t say it anymore..

Chigley1 Thu 23-May-13 09:23:43

If you feel loved, you are.

I've been with my DH for over 20 yrs and could probably count on one hand the times we have said it. Neither of us are emotionally repressed (I don't think!) it's just that I don't need to hear it to know it, IYSWIM.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 23-May-13 09:25:29

My current squeeze is a bluff, gruff yet very affectionate Yorkshireman that goes slightly pink at any hint of 'mush'. However, because it's important to me, he makes an effort. That's all you want really.

AThingInYourLife Thu 23-May-13 09:29:33

I think both is best.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 24-May-13 20:54:27

Both surely?

I briefly dated a man who said "well I could say anything and not mean it couldn't I,it's just words". At which point I realised he wasn't for me and ended it shortly afterwards.

It isn't only words to me. It can be of course,I know that.

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