I am so angry at my husband I want him out off my life! I have been married for 14 years I have 2 kids, I am 36 and take care of myself, however today was the final straw. My computer broke a few days ago so I asked my husband if I could use his iPad to look for a new job. I have never used his iPad before never needed too. Anyway soon has I asked he started acting funny telling me only to go on one site because he didn't want his settings messed up. I joked saying god anyone would think you had something to hide, anyway he went straight on the defence saying he had nothing to hide. Anyway he typed in universal job site into the ipad so I only has to type in my pass word, however my pass word would not log on so I tapped the search engine only to get a list of the sites he had previously visited which where called little April takes cock. I was horrified because this girl looked about 13 or 14 dressed like a child, now I am not a prude I know men look at porn but I do have a problem when it comes to porn that uses people that look under age. It's not the first time this has happened I found a memory key with the same kind of porn on it a few years ago, he swore on our kids lives that he did not put it on the key and that the young lad at work give him the key for his computer and had told him it was blank!
I stupidly believed him, the thing is I was sexually abused has a teenager for many years by a member of my own family and he knows this, it turns my stomach to thing he has been getting off to these web sites that although they say the women are 18 they are making them look younger and use women who look like young teenagers. I have told him it is over and want nothing to do with him, he says I am over reacting and that all men look at teenage girls and that the site says they are 18 so what's the problem. This is a problem for me, I feel I am right to feel disgusted at this. He is now trying to make me feel quilty about ending the marriage because the children will be upset.
For exactly the same reasons as you have mentioned, this would be my final straw.
I disagree with porn anyway but at the faintest suggestion of something involving children/teens, I would not feel safe having children or children's friends around this man as would be concerned about his state of mind.
No doubt a massive overreaction but rather that than have lives wrecked by abuse.
I just asked DH, and he looked horrified. Yanbu at all, your DH is. And guilting you is a nasty manipulation. Besides, I think you're children would be more upset to know about HIS input into the situation! He has caused this, not you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply, the sites do say the girls are 18 but they would not get alcohol at the bar and I know how old these girls look they have photos lying on child's beds with teddy bears etc it makes me sick, when I told him he makes me sick and these girls looked like children he went mad and pinned me against the wall saying he is not a beast! Oh I forgot to mention he is a sergeant in the police force.
Maybe he's not a beast, but he is a man looking at porn with girls/women made to look very underage. To pin you up against the wall is also unacceptable. As a police officer he should know this very well. Please get some help so that he leaves the house.
And a dangerous one if he's a police officer - you need to be really careful here because he'll use his power as a police officer to really stitch you up if he can.
But you need to get rid of him, particularly if you have daughters. If I knew one of my neighbours looked at pictures of teenage girls (or women made to look like teenage girls) there's no way I'd allow my daughter to go to their house.
"child porn for those who don't fancy a criminal record"
And he's a police sergeant so he knows the score. He's panicking and lashing out because he knows how serious this is and how he will be "seen" by the authorities. Don't let him scare you, he has no right to attack you.
He is digusting and you would be doing the right thing getting rid of him. Good luck and I'm sorry this has happened to you.
Both myself and dh enjoy porn occasionally, no not all men look at teenagers. My dh would vomit at even the idea of teenage girls portrayed in this way. Does he have daughters? I am so sorry and can understand why you are so upset by this. You have definitely done the right thing.
Thanks again for replying it is helping me to stay strong, he is trying to brush it off like it is nothing, I can't believe it I am scared that he will use the fact he is a police officer against me. He thinks he can just make some feeble excuses and everything will go back to normal, he is wrong I am packing my stuff while he is in work. I can't believe I have wasted 14 years of my life with him.