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would you be suspicious?

(9 Posts)
catkin14 Mon 20-May-13 22:42:29

Been split now from my critical EA H for over 2 months. He was 'devastated' for around 5 weeks, begging me to go back etc. Tried to use DS to get me to reconsider..

3 weeks ago, total change in attitude, wants to sort everything, be friends but move on.
DC's reported that H was really happy, moving on and getting on with life etc.
His idea of fair split is 75%/25% in his favour of course, and this is after a lot of years of marriage!
However a few things made me feel something was going on, and then yesterday he was seen with an OW.

Up to him if he wants to be in another relationship so quick, and I would put money on him almost living with her as he is not living in our house.
Would you feel that maybe this had been going on for a while? But if so why be devastated??
Have appointment with sols tomorrow.

Hassled Mon 20-May-13 22:46:07

Impossible to know how long - if he was "devastated" and then indifferent, that sort of implies it's not long, i.e post your split 2 months ago.

Xales Mon 20-May-13 22:49:08

Don't waste your time thinking about it.

Count your blessings that he is no longer hassling you.

SquinkiesRule Tue 21-May-13 01:44:46

I'm sure the solicitor will laugh at his idea of 75% 25% in the ex's favor.

raisah Tue 21-May-13 04:13:13

Correct him by saying that you agree with the 75% - 25% split......... in your & the dc's favour.

SorryMyLollipop Tue 21-May-13 05:10:55

My STBXH was devastated (not eating, sleeping, washing, shaving but lots of vomiting) for a total of about 10 days when I told him I was seeing someone else.

Two weeks later he met someone and was totally fine/normal. I think his emotional processing was brief but intense. I have no reason to believe that he was seeing her any earlier.

chocmallow Tue 21-May-13 07:45:16

Leave him to it - he is not you're problem anymore. Pity the OW. You are moving on. I separated from my VA STBXH in December and am still dealing with his emotional blackmail/tears/Mr Nice/Mr Nasty - it's exhausting!! But we have both done the right thing OP smile

Good luck at sols today. 75%/25% in his favour??? Classic. Has he thought about doing stand-up comedy?

catkin14 Tue 21-May-13 23:08:38

haha chocmallow - like that one.
Indeed solicitor was very amused! Not!
And I was very pleased to be told about the Financial Statement that has to be agreed by the judge. Even ex H cant argue with a judge!

Ex H has definetely moved on, but you are right it is such hard work when i really doesnt need to be!

Hissy Wed 22-May-13 00:34:49

The devastated is so that you reconsider,so that you doubt yourself and call him back.

When he realises you mean it (and deep down feels he's not worth it anyway) he moves on to get his next adoration fix. this is all about his insecurity remember? All the abuse is from a position of WEAKNESS, not strength.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Onwards and upwards. Gives YOU the permission you didn't actually need to move on when YOU are ready now doesn't it? grin

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