long time lurker never posted before. I enjoy reading the dating threads.
Have been wondering about something.
I met my bfs parents not too long ago. Little things irked me. Been seeing him for 3 months first meeting with folks.
I have a handbag that is designer. Not hugely expensive: about £70 and it was a Christmas present from my dad. I don't own designer clothes or shoes and am modest with my spending. I had a Nine West coat with me but is quite old.
I have been using the same bag with my bf for the whole time we have been dating. Never said anything.
I caught his mother eyeing up my handbag and my coat. the next time I saw my bf one of the first things he did was point out my handbag. He actually said "you've got a designer bag". Then he mentioned my nine West coat and that they are expensive. Never mind the fact that every shirt he wears has a designer label on it.
Am I right to be pissed off at this? He even balked at my face cream costs when I bought it.
None of his business and I don't buy CK or RL shirts.
Was the "Why the downer on me?" aimed at us or at him? I think that's where Kitty's confusion is arising.
I didn't read the thing about pop concerts as "backtracking", just the opposite - it's an instructive comparison to show that he clearly doesn't mind spending money on things he chooses, whereas he judges the OP for things she wants to spend money on.
Really even though 99% of the time it's fine you are only 3 months in, it only gets worse. In 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, it's a daily thing. Why did you buy Heinz beans, the kids can eat Adsa brand, don't buy meat for the kids you can get them sausages. You don't need boots face cream get Tesco value moisturizer. On and on it goes, while he buys designer shirts for himself and concert tickets for his family.
So it's fine to spend lots of money on things he values, but not if it's something only you value. It's fine if he buys you things, but you can't buy yourself things. Control freak.... Run like the wind.
Perhaps no need to ripen like the wind. But just stand your ground.
If he says opera ticket are a waste of money, point out that he would buy pop concert tickets that were just as expensive, but that opera is more to your taste (or just as much to your taste) so its not a waste.
If he can see your point, fine, otherwise, maybe you need to part company.
But, be who you are. And if he likes that person, he'll stick round. If he doesn't, then the sooner you can find someone who does.
I'd ditch him before you get more involved. He's having a go at you over things, you feel you have to defend yourself and justify your belongings, your decisions... It doesn't sound like a fun relationship. Find someone who likes your coat and bag (and you).