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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Apparently this is common!!!

(5 Posts)
whenwillthisbedone Mon 20-May-13 20:59:34

In Jan my OH told me he no longer loved me and left. The previous 3 months had been hell and the previous year we had a number of huge arguments but I still deeply loved him! The 3 weeks later I found out he was seeing our DD BF mum (they met at the school gates) I had previously found texts between them about 3 months b4 we split!

Im finding the situation increadibly difficult they constantly flaunt the relationship FB and obviously its at the school gates everyday! All i get from him is he has never been happier, they they have so much more in common, that they will last forever, they he was so unhappy etc! Yet even when he is blatently mean I cant get over it (I do not let them see this though!). This weekend he told me he missed the family side and that he was sorry (but didnt want us to try again!). Has anyone been in this situation how do I get over this? Why is he saying he misses us then the next breath he is happier than ever?

I feel like our DD will have to move schools as I would hate for her to see him collecting the other children but not his own or our DD knowing her BF sees more of her Dad than her! Also I hate been the school gate gossip! what do I do! when does the numness end!

KittyVonCatsworth Mon 20-May-13 21:05:19

Insensitive twunt. Sorry, I know name calling doesn't help you with the situation but flaunting this in front of everyone, your daughter included, must be hell and shows a distinct lack of respect.

No real advice though, but continue showing inner peace and utmost dignity but secretly hoping his knob rots off. The pain will subside xx

Xales Mon 20-May-13 21:11:48

It may not work out between him and OW so he needs to make it sound like he is conflicted so he can waltz back in any time and you will so grateful to have him back you will let his little, tiny mistake go.

It will also give his selfish little ego a boost to think you are still sitting there pining for him.

If you want to see his true colours emerge go on a 'date' loudly so it gets back to him. You don't really have to date someone, just be giving the impression you have met and been out with anyone else while he has contact with your DC or when they are with a babysitter.

I bet he will then be telling you he wants to try again. Not because he really does, more because you are not allowed to move on, be happy or have a life.

End of the day he does this because he is selfish and he can.

It will get easier. Slowly, day by day. Just be kind to yourself and your DC.

cozietoesie Mon 20-May-13 22:24:58

He's trying to cover his ass for when the new relationship collapses. And it sounds as if he expects it to.

Ignore it and get on with your new life. It will get easier, gradually.

Mantella Mon 20-May-13 22:32:42

Your poor DD. This must be so awful and confusing for her. What a selfish idiot this man is. Ignore him and try not to let him play with your feelings (easier said than done I know). If he truly cared for you he wouldn't have run off with the OW and flaunted it in your face. sad

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