My parents are divorced. Both of them are difficult characters but the most excellent fun and dynamic on good days. My father has an amazing ability to compartmentalise his life, which is convenient as it means not seeing his wife whom I loathe on many levels, she was not the OW, just an out and out bitch.
My mother also did some horrendous things to me as we were growing up and is a damaged person from her youth. My DBro acknowledges how she was always lovely and supportive to him but was underhand and almost jealous of me.
Fastforward to now, we have three lovely children and my mother travels down to see them four times a year. They love her and she adores them. The problem is more that now her and I are able to talk normally, after years of me struggling with her, she seems to think that she can rewrite history.
Yesterday, over the phone, she started talking about my dad being a sociopath, as she's just read the study on people in the board room being borderline psychopaths. This irritates me immensely as she is forever trying to point out his flaws while painting herself as perfect. I just replied that, yes he probably was but there is noone in our family who is perfect, to which she replied in a really hurt tone "Sorry for being so over emotional". I calmly said that i wasn't saying she was over emotional (she uses tears often). Anyway, she was then slighted so cut the call short.
Why do I still feel the need in my 40s to make her realise that she isn't the all encompassing perfect one? It's made me feel really down this week.
Fuck, that was long!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Musing on whether you currently have a functioning relationship with your mother, should you call her on her previous terrible behaviour.
DottyboutDots · 20/05/2013 10:26
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