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I called him on his lies. He called me a Cu*t. Lucky escape.

(22 Posts)
lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 07:54:12

Not a partner, but a long term friend that has been trying to get me to be in a relationship with him for about 3 years. He has a history of lying, great big lies, that when caught out he always has an explaination of why he did it and why its partially my fault. For this reason I have never agreed to be his girlfriend.

Last few weeks he has really stepped it up, we did a lot of talking and i was wavering on the whole thing, thinking he had grown up and it was time to give it a go.

Except then i find out he has a fwb who hes plastering pics of and checking in with all over fb. I wasnt too happy and said that I didnt want to see him anymore. Of course i got told i was paranoid and being stupid and its his life. Yes, but when hes spending time begging me to see him, it jars somewhat. He has also been begging me to go to his for dinner, quite by accident i bump into someone who knows someone who said his friend was all excited becuse this guy shes has known for ages is finally ready for a relationship and keeps inviting her for dinner. Can you guess who that is... yeah.

So, i called him on it and he called me a paranoid cunt.

Nice.

Lucky escape.

Just needed to get this out, hence the reason for this post.

purplewithred Mon 20-May-13 07:56:31

Phew! Not just lucky, you handled it really well and kept your head. wine and flowers to you.

tribpot Mon 20-May-13 08:00:34

Well he sounds like a charmer!

Paranoid would be you thinking he was dallying with others based on no evidence, not based on the absolute wealth of evidence you have in front of you.

He sounds like such a pathological liar that in his mind all these events are unconnected and separate. Best learning point for you to take from this is to trust your instincts sooner - the whole 'it's your fault' aspect of the lies is a massive red flag, as are the lies themselves of course!

Well done on avoiding!

joblot Mon 20-May-13 08:01:50

What a charmer... also someone who tells big lies is always a no no in my book. Leopards and spots

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 08:05:13

I sent him an email expaining, calmly, that all the contstant lying meant i could never trust him and that i dont think he would know the truth if it hit him in the face.

he is currently living with his ex girl friend. Two weeks ago he told he she was moving out that week, then when i asked how it went he said no, it was the end of the month and he had in fact said ' shes moving out in like a week' and not ' shes moving out in a week' As well as calling me a cunt he also said im a bad friend, as i hadnt asked how he was since his ex moved out this weekend, a whole week earlier than when he told me a few days ago. I replied and said ' another lie, you just cant stop, can you' and then he told he i was paranoid.

Im not, he just has huge issues.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 20-May-13 08:05:38

So he's not a 'long term friend' any more, right? You're going to consign this idiot to history and move on?

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 08:06:22

Of course.

OrlaKiely Mon 20-May-13 08:07:52

he sounds utterly narcissistic. good riddance.

Justneedhelp Mon 20-May-13 08:15:31

Just to say you are much better off on your own than with someone like that and to carry him as a friend wouldn't be wise as friends should be trusted people..can you trust him?
I spent two years of my life with a compulsive liar, he made my life hell...any man that tells you you are paranoid is 100%, I bet my life on it, doing wrong! Hence the baby my ex had behind my back!

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 09:16:11

No, i cannot trust him. And i know if hes calling me paranoid and trying to lay the blame at my door, its more than likely i am right and hes trying to make me feel bad. Thats how liars work, my ex husband was one.

lisac99 Mon 20-May-13 09:40:10

It sounds like your ‘friend’ is more interested in the chase than having a relationship with you and is probably annoyed that you won’t accept his BS lies and ‘facts’ as the truth. Once called on the fact he talks out his arse, he tries to turn it round onto you, so you’re the one who is on the defensive and he’s attacking you.

I wouldn’t waste any more time or energy on such a person – what does he bring to your life?

I imagine if you do cut him out, this will make him work even harder to try and sleep with you as you’re more of an enigma, so I suggest you make it very clear to him that he’s a twat of the highest magnitude and you don’t want him in your life.

NotGoodNotBad Mon 20-May-13 11:44:59

"paranoid cunt"? hmm

If I were you, he wouldn't be a friend any more, never mind boyfriend.

EllaFitzgerald Mon 20-May-13 12:03:29

Sounds like you've had the luckiest escape!

AnyFucker Mon 20-May-13 12:32:17

If you call a bloke like this your "friend" wtf do your enemies do ? confused

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 12:33:41

No, hes not my friend anymore, its totally unacceptable.

He was my friend.

AnyFucker Mon 20-May-13 12:47:09

you said he "had been trying to get you to be in a relationship with him for 3 years" so this behaviour of his is long term, not a recent thing

you need better friends

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 12:51:59

He has never called me a cunt before.
Nor in fact called me anything.

Mintyy Mon 20-May-13 12:54:25

Lucky escape: that's an understatement! Well done, op!

AnyFucker Mon 20-May-13 12:56:31

I am not for one minute blaming you, love. I guess our relative definitions of what constitutes a "friend" are very different < shrug >

niceupthedance Mon 20-May-13 12:58:21

Sounds like he's trying to live up to the 'player' stereotype and failing miserably. You're well shot.

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 12:59:32

I think ' friend' is a lose term, covers all sorts. He certainly wasnt a close friend, and ive stayed a distance away because i never thought i could trust him, no matter what he said. Its just this is the first time ive had blatant evidence of the lies.

ladyjadie Mon 20-May-13 17:04:23

You are well rid. Thank fuck you didn't allow yourself to be swept away by his (classic emotional abuse) pestering you to be with him, imagine the shit he could be putting you through now.

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