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Housemate rant(9 Posts)
Sorry for the long post, just need somewhere to let off steam. So we had a new housemate move into our shared house in January and she's a complete nightmare. She moved in as she had broken up with her boyfriend and after two months of staying in his house eventually gave up hope of him taking her back. But since then is obsessed with talking about him, to the extent I have never spoken to her without the conversation getting around to him.
She gets up really early every morning including weekends and wanders around the house slamming all the doors as she goes from room to room. I don't mean just once, she'll go in and out of a room several times.
She goes to the toilet an absolutely ridiculous amount of times, around 6 an hour and has only once bought toilet roll.
She has never ever washed up or done any cleaning at all which is very annoying as we all share cutlery and crockery. Also I have mild OCD which means I incessantly clean so she gets away with it. There have been several occasions where I've found blood on the toilet seat or once the bath mat was covered in specks of blood. She just doesn't seem to notice the mess she creates. If she finishes a bottle of coke or something she will just leave the packet on the side instead of putting it in the bin. We've had to throw away her food loads as she lets it go mouldy and it drips all over the fridge. Also suspect she has been taking my food as have been finding jars of Nutella etc empty in my cupboard.
Probably the most annoying thing of all is that all the bills are in my name so when we get a bill I let everyone know how much it is and then transfer the money immediately. Not her, she insists on giving me cash and its always weeks late or it'll be a few pounds here and there.
Sorry for the long post, can't wait till this contract is up and I can never share with anyone again.
I feel your pain, no advice though, sorry!
Time for her to move on.
Next lodger, make a list of what they are expected to do, like they must clean up after themselves not leaving empties anywhere, doing dishes etc. She's not an easy one, so move on.
Thank Christ I have my own place!
Flat sharing requires a bit of consideration and compromise for everyone to get along, however, you are living with a slob. Your home should be an oasis of calm and tranquility, no matter how long, hard or crap your day has been your home should be a guaranteed refuge for you to return to, not a place of tension and bitterness.
Chances are she does not even know she is being out of order, that is how she has always lived her life and will probably be quite shocked when you confront her over her shortcomings. However, confront her you must otherwise you will just be miserable. Make a decision first as to whether you want to give her a chance to change her habits or whether you just want to get shot of her. If it is the latter, then stand firm and explain the problem and your reasons, try not to get dragged into a dogfight when she will invariably try and defend her position or indeed start pointing out your own faults.
As someone else has pointed out, life is too short to be messing about with crap like this.
Call a house meeting and establish clear rules around hygeine, food etc. Once you're clear on what's expected she can either shape up or look for somewhere new if she doesn't feel able to fit in.
Unfortunately there's not much you can do about her talking about her ex all the time. She sounds a nightmare to live with, but try and remember she's probably gone through a really rough time as well. Being heartbroken and then having to move in with strangers
who don't like you very much is not fun.
Hi, I have lived with a similar person in the past, in my student days.
This is what I did.
Subtlety doesn't work. Don't hint. If you can get the agreement of your other flatmates, call a meeting and tell her as neutrally as you can. She'll complain but you will have explained to her her behaviour needs to change.
Start keeping your own toilet paper and take it in only when you need it and put it back in your room when you finish.
Leave her dirty plates to one side. Don't wash them. My ex flatmate used every plate in the house and left them piled up in the kitchen, then went away for the weekend. We picked ALL of them up and put them in her bed, then put the duvet over the top. She never again left her washing up again.
And one more thing, I believe you can get everyone's names on utility bills. If that's not possible, ask the landlord if you can put the landlord's name on the bill and you all pay for utilities along with the rent - that should sort it out.
I have shared with lots of people and the majority live in the same way you want to - your flatmate falls outside this definition. She is in the wrong and sadly it's you & your flatmates that have to resolve this.
Another bit of advice - hide your valuables. Sorry to sound suspicious but better safe than sorry.
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