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Parents separating - any advice?

(5 Posts)
Jaffakake Sun 19-May-13 20:17:24

So yesterday, a complete & utter bolt from the blue, my parents (40 years married & just either side of 70 years old) announced they were separating. Neither my brother nor I had a clue. It appears my dad has hooked up with his ex & as a result my mum has started talking to hers. I'm aware this post could sound as though I'm making it up, I only wish i was. We're the most boring middle class, respectable family you could ever think of & now it sounds like something off Jeremy Kyle!

My reason for posting here is to ask for advice - does anyone know of any online resources that may help me get my head around this? I'm not sure how I'm feeling & am reluctant to call them till I've had a think. I want to get my mum some legal advice, but am scared of seeming to take sides & my dads been snooping at her email, so I can't just send her a link.

My other reason for posting is I'm so embarrassed about this & am reluctant to talk to my friends - many are family friends & also being the age of social media, via which I'm in contact with many relatives, it's not my place to break this news to the world.

Any advice great fully received.

Tooearlyintheday Sun 19-May-13 21:29:43

I can't help re. online resources but didn't want to leave you unanswered! You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you have no responsibility for your parents actions. My advice would be to brazen it out when the news breaks and carry on regardless. Oh and definitely tell your mum to get legal advice, it's not taking sides, it's offering reasonable advice.

Jaffakake Sun 19-May-13 21:40:32


My mum just called. I spoke to her about legal advice & will get her proper details tomorrow. She's feeling better & much heartened by the very few things my brother & I said yesterday. That's something at least.

Tooearlyintheday Sun 19-May-13 21:48:46

That's good to hear, I'm sure it's been a terrible shock to you all. I think the adult children of separating/ divorcing parents are often overlooked but its very difficult. Hope it all works out for you, with any luck your parents could have another good 20+ years of life to live yet so maybe they'll both find new happiness.

Mantella Sun 19-May-13 21:49:20

I understand how bewildering this feels. My parents also decided to divorce after many years together. I know you are probably going through many mixed feelings but there is really nothing to be embarrassed about. You don't need to break the news to anyone if you don't feel like it. Just be there for both of them. flowers

I'm glad your mother is working through things and is feeling a bit more positive.

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