She's asked me to post for advice.
When they met (six years ago) they talked about drug use, he has friends who openly use coke and she is anti drugs after a horrible experience with her dopehead ex.
He said that he had tried coke once, didn't like it, and although his mate was a user he avoided it.
There have been a couple of occasions over the years where it's come up again, and she's asked him outright whether he uses coke, he's assured her he doesn't and that he thinks his druggy mate is an idiot for it.
So they got married two years ago, bought a house and now have a five month old baby.
He has not been brilliant at curbing his social life, and has continued to go out most weekends, he'll go out at 3pm and stay out until closing time. My sister has obviously been disappointed and upset by this so was having a moan to her friend. Her friend said, come on, you know why he stays out so long. Dsis said, no, she really didn't. And her friend said, look, we should have told you before but he's a massive coke head.
It turns out that EVERYBODY in their circle knows this. Dsis's 'best friend' was actually introduced to him as 'this is X's DH, he does coke but X doesn't know and you mustn't ever tell her'.
They've let her marry him and have his baby based on this lie.
I could fucking murder him. I am also extremely angry with her so called friends, who have colluded in this fiction.
I had no idea and I'm usually quite good at sniffing out coke people (pardon the pun), I knew his tosser mate was a user the minute I met him.
When she confronted him he did that thing of only admitting so much, so over the course of the last week it's gone from 'only did it once or twice, never around you, never in the house' to 'every weekend, at home when you're in bed (with their baby around ffs), sneaking off to toot in the loos when we're out together'.
She told me yesterday and she was broken, she was talking about leaving him, but this morning they have talked and are going to work it out.
He maintains he's never spent money on it (I don't believe him but she does, they have separate money). She is on maternity leave and selling stuff on ebay to make money.
I have no idea how to help her, other than just to be there. I am disgusted with him, it's not so much the drug use that bites, it's the lying, he is obviously a very accomplished liar, he's lied to all of us and so have all Dsis's fucking 'friends'.
Please talk to me about this, I am wrung out and so sad and I need to support her.
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Relationships
Sister's Dh has been lying to her for their entire relationship
31 replies
TwoFourSixOhOne · 18/05/2013 13:41
OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom ·
18/05/2013 14:29
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