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(6 Posts)
Rilletts Sat 18-May-13 11:40:06

I've posted previously about DH's awful snoring. He's had tests done to rule out apnea; basically it's mainly attributed to weight. He needs to loose a good couple of stone.

So - I've been on the 5:2 since February, have asked him to join me, given him book/press articles to read, etc. I've lost weight, he's managed a few days if it and has made zero effort to lose
weight generally.

He ridicules me for losing weight, being 'skinny' and constantly makes Snyde comments about pathetic things such as having black coffee with NO milk etc.

So, back to the snoring - we are sleeping in separate rooms (can still hear the snoring ) have no sex life. He's a moderate - heavy drinker and often falls asleep on sofa downstairs and the noise that ensues - a foghorn has no comparison. I end up going down - pissed off an telling him to shut up - blood boling by then.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking him to lose weight - I've given him every opportunity / support to do the 5:2 (I also want him to do for health he has high BP) but so far no effort. I'm beyond fucked off. He holds no value to the relationship as I see, and I'm not prepared to have a sexless life at the age of 40!! hmmconfused

Grinkly Sat 18-May-13 18:50:29

You need to work out how far you will go with this.
Would you actually want to separate eventually or is there a way of working round this - such as you wearing ear plugs and permanently sleeping separately, or are you just going to keep complaining.

I agree it is a weight issue, plus booze, and if he won't lose weight then you need a permanent solution, split up or new house with remote bedroom?

WildThongsHeartString Sat 18-May-13 18:57:51

Sympathies Rillet, I have been in the spare room for 3 months and wear earplugs too, they help, but agree its crap for a healthy relationship. Maybe your dh would agree to going to the dr again but together with you?

EdvardMonsterMunch Sat 18-May-13 20:30:22

I'm married to a snorer and have worn industrial earplugs for years.
They're moulded to my ear shape.
I can get these through work, dont know how you'd find them in uk (i'm overseas).
It's worth a try.
I used to sleep in spare room, not much oppourtunity for "how's your father" !
Now we sleep in same bed, can DTD then sleep.
Worked for us.

Niknakpaddywhack Sat 18-May-13 21:18:45

Sorry if you've already tried it, but my DH uses the nasal strips that you stick to the bridge of the nose, and they have worked wonders - he even says he can breathe better plus he doesn't wake himself up. Perhaps a combination of ear plugs (for you) and nasal strips (for him)?!

I do know that snoring can really get you down but it does sound like you perhaps have other issues with your DH? His ridiculing you and his drinking? Do you think you could cope with these better if you have a good nights sleep?

Cakebitch Sun 19-May-13 09:23:24

Same here. took years of me nagging to get him to go to the doctors. eventually got diagnosed with sleep apnoea. i just cannot contemplate sleeping in the same bed as him. he has a mask, but only uses it sporadically, hes put a ton of weight on and refuses to excercise or do anything about it.
He does not keep his appointments at the clinic for his apnoea, and will not talk about it, either.
he had a septoplasty last year,and has been told it worked, but refuses to breathe through his nose,saying he cant do it because hes just not used to it. he makes terrible noises when he eats because hes kind of 'breathing through his food' and has terrible digestion problems.
Ds has been sleeping in my room with me for the last year or so; that cant carry on much longer, and i am completely at a loss as to know what to do,anymore.

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