I think my marriage is over. We've been together for 12 years, we started dating the day before my 17th birthday. Not long after my 19th birthday, we found out I was pregnant. We now have a DD and a DS.
He's never been overly affectionate, and sometimes has been downright cold/unloving. The major example that comes to mind is after the birth of DS, who was born back to back. Horrendous is the only word I can use to describe that labour, I honestly wanted to die I was in so much pain. Then the placenta refused to budge so ended up being transferred to a bigger hospital. Had some sort of haemorrhage in the ambulance and then placenta was quite forcefully removed by a midwife. I was in bits, in shock, in pain. He walked out of the hospital with me, no arm around me or checking if I was ok. He then turned to me and told me had a bad headache. How I didn't punch the bastard there and then I don't know.
Things have come to a head recently. He told me two weeks ago that he cared for me, and loved me in that way, but he wasn't in love with me. That didn't hurt me like it should have done, in fact part of me was glad he'd said it first.
He's now decided that actually he is desperately in love with me, and promising to change. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel about him anymore. He's hurt me too many times. I haven't been perfect either. I don't think we've made each other happy, and sometimes we make each other unhappy. I can't stop thinking about the kids, the house, my job (I work for his company). None of those things should make me stay, but it makes it fucking hard to leave.
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I just don't know what to do
7 replies
ChickenLidl · 17/05/2013 09:58
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