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I feel like I want to run away

(2 Posts)
TurnTables Thu 16-May-13 20:47:41

I love my husband, He is caring, helpful and I know he loves me.

Now to why I want to run away. Sexually it's not happening anymore. Not unless I instigate it and even then he comes up with reasons to why he isn't in the mood. We were quite sexually active before we were married. I feel like I'm nagging him but i'm trying my best to not mention it. But it gets very frustrating. I'm not into porn. I don't want to have an affair. Don't want to get divorced but I feel like we don't gel anymore. We work together. I guess that doesn't help in a way. Love him working with me. Even though I'm the one that looks after the children while he is mostly in the kitchen preparing food (childminders).I think his workload should include more time with the children. They love him and are always asking for him (they see him in the kitchen.) In the evenings it's in front of the t.v until bed. Both of us on our laptops.

I understand that he is tired. We are both tired but the physical touch has all but gone. Yes we do say "I love you" to each other every day and we have a hug and a kiss at routine moments in the morning/evening. Nothing is on the spur of the moment anymore. If I go to kiss or hug him he does respond but he doesn't randomly come up to me for a kiss or hug. I have before not gone to him for a kiss or hug to see how long it would last. I think he would go without quite easily.

My daughter at home is mostly in her room now. Yes I know she is a teenager and that is how they behave but she only comes to see us if she wants something. She doesn't talk to me a lot. She mostly talks to her dad.

Thanks for reading this.... sorry that it's long. Advice appreciated.

cheeseandchive Thu 16-May-13 21:14:42

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this, I don't have any personal experience but didn't want to read and run!

It sounds like you're quite disconnected as a couple, with work (working together but not really together), leisure time (watching TV with laptops in the evening) and even with parenting your DD (you mention how she talks to DH rather than you). Is that a fair assessment?

Could you discuss things with him and begin to make more of an effort to connect not just physically but in everyday things? Having a bath together or going for an evening walk around the block, playing a game, taking DD out for a drink together - that sort of thing? I think that your physical intimacy might naturally improve if you actually are feeling more 'together' than it sounds like you currently are.

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