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I just want to be friend's. Yet again i have been.told this. Another rejection. That is four in six years. Any tips for carrying on dating because i feel very rejected :(

(13 Posts)
SoleSource Wed 15-May-13 19:23:15

No sex involved, just dates. With these guys.

Should i give up?

Spero Wed 15-May-13 19:25:45

Don't give up - unless you want to. Maybe have a break, recharge and rest. It must be very draining and dispiriting. BUT I think it is rare to find a spark with someone, its not a reflection on you being awful, just that you haven't sparked yet. I think it's only happened to me twice in twenty years...

BOF Wed 15-May-13 19:36:56

Can you get some help with your mental health and eating disorder? I think that you need to like yourself before other people will be attracted to you physically, and eating yourself to death and being lonely probably go hand-in-hand. If you'd address your self esteem issues and bodily health, I think that you'll start to come out of this rut of being sofa-bound and on the Internet all day. You might need antidepressants too. I know when I'm depressed I don't look after myself.

SoleSource Wed 15-May-13 19:42:04

I am exercising, eating betrer and feeling great. I don't really have mebtal health issues just stuff that goes with being a lonely Carer. I'm just honest in ly posts hete. I have more up days than down.

TwoFourSixOhOne Wed 15-May-13 19:44:27

Four in six years is nothing.

I rejected ten times that many men and the rest before I met and married DH.

And what BOF says too.

BOF Wed 15-May-13 19:52:31

Don't underestimate the low level depression that often attends full time caring- its worth checking out, and perhaps getting a dietary plan or join a supportive group like WeightWatchers or similar, with your GP's help. You might even get a fee reduction as part of the practice's commitment to reducing obesity. It doesn't seem fair, I know, but physical appearance does contribute a lot to how attractive we find somebody, and if you are very overweight (although it doesn't make you less loveable), you are reducing your chances of a potential partner fancying you and not just wanting friendship. So working on that side of things will be time well-spent, I think, as well as obviously improving your health.

lissieloo Wed 15-May-13 19:56:29

I agree with Bof.

FuckThisShit Wed 15-May-13 19:58:10

Wise words from BOF.

SoleSource Wed 15-May-13 20:03:00

True BOF very honest too

Wow! people tend not to say that and it is unhelpful by not saying it.

My therapist says i don't have deoression just stiff from ly childhood

But i have moved on and even.made a friend and feel less alone

Thank you BOF X

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 20:08:24

The very best advice is the honest advice

Patting someone on the head is not always helpful

BOF is a great advice-giver

Darkesteyes Wed 15-May-13 22:16:00

Sole i am a carer too. A month ago i started a healthy eating plan. Along with the obvious junk food ive also given up pasta potatos and diet coke.
Breakfast is two Weetabix (im thinking of low sugar muesli if i fancy a change.)
Low fat Super Noodles

Dinner is fish and vegtables.
And the odd mullerlight yoghurt.

Now i have no scales in the flat but going by my clothes i reckon ive lost between 5 and 7 pounds in the last month but it could be more.

I did Slimming World in 2002-2004 and lost ten stone but it was the green plan which involved pasta and potatoes .
Ive discovered that although i could get away with a carb heavy plan at the age of 29/30 not so at 39/40.

Darkesteyes Wed 15-May-13 22:18:03

The noodles are a snack if i get hungry. Its not part of breakfast.

I will admit ive been very hungry though. Ive just been trying to ride it out.

Darkesteyes Wed 15-May-13 22:30:42

Just wanted to say i know how you feel Sole. The lonliness and having to put your own needs to one side is depressing and isolating.

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