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WANKER Sti testing

(39 Posts)
currentlyconfuseddotcom Tue 14-May-13 22:51:49

I was with someone for a very very long time and he told me whilst we were together that if he cheated then he would not let me know. He would not tell me.

We split up, I go for Sti testing (neg) and let him know because it IS important and the clinic said to let him know. Now he is questioning why I did that and being insultive. This makes me so mad.

Dryjuice25 Tue 14-May-13 23:03:40

why did he need to know if the test was negative and you had split up anyway?

currentlyconfuseddotcom Tue 14-May-13 23:06:48

Clinic told me to tell him. It wasn't an unhappy message anyway 'hello!! you do not have syphyllis/ HIV' rah rah rah etc!

He introduced a lot of doubt into the relationship by telling me that if he cheated then he would not tell me.

ImperialBlether Tue 14-May-13 23:29:48

I wouldn't let him know if it was negative; I wouldn't care what the clinic said.

AnyFucker Tue 14-May-13 23:32:20

I don't understand the clinic's pronouncement on this

Congratulations on you being clear, but that does not guarantee that he is

AnyFucker Tue 14-May-13 23:33:10

oh, and congratulations on getting shut of the fuckwit too smile

currentlyconfuseddotcom Tue 14-May-13 23:37:35

I've calmed down now, sorry, I had a half hour rant at the fuckwit. And breeeathe. Sorry people. No stis to share, he should be happy about this.
Are men just less proactive about checking this sort of thing?

AnyFucker Tue 14-May-13 23:41:12

Some men think their cocks are kryptonite

Who fucking knew ? wink

currentlyconfuseddotcom Tue 14-May-13 23:42:32

Who did? I hope your nails are brown now anyway, and a fetching shade at that, or else I'll have a rant at you <ranty mood mode>

AnyFucker Tue 14-May-13 23:49:47

I haven't painted my nails yet as I am working for the rest of the week and it isn't allowed.

But I will, on Friday. We shall have a thread about it, as a distraction from the obligatory bumsex one smile

Booyhoo Tue 14-May-13 23:55:55


i dont get why you need to let him know that you got tested if it was all clear. odd advice from the clinic. are you sure you heard them right?

currentlyconfuseddotcom Tue 14-May-13 23:58:09

Good grief woman, are you letting work come between you and your nails?

I am ashamed to associate with this sort of behaviour. Ashamed.

Oh god I'm going to go and find someone to rant at if possible at this time, may your brown nails be well and shine and bring light to all that see them. Amen.

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 00:01:00

Needs must 'n' all that shit. Some of us cannot live on nail varnish alone. smile

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 00:01:50

....although some of it sparkles dang purty

currentlyconfuseddotcom Wed 15-May-13 00:04:26

Booy to be fair they said to let him know if anything was negative. I thought it was a good idea to let him know it was clear, but they did ask if I could get in contact with him about it.

They also ask if you have bumsex/have ever slept with anyone from another country/slept with anyone bisexual yada yada. I wasn't expecting those questions. Why do they need to know?

I have had 3 long term boyfriends and I have always, always got tested after them. I don't understand why (it seems) men don't automatically go and do this? It's a few minutes and can save a lot of long term pain.

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 00:06:41

Some of those questions are classed as "high risk" for contracting an STI.

currentlyconfuseddotcom Wed 15-May-13 00:09:30

Yes, they are - I guess it only makes sense in retrospect though, e.g. if you tested positive for something then they might make a correlation between behaviour and contracting something.

It's still a little distressing though, to be questioned about your bumsex habits!!

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 00:10:07


cronullansw Wed 15-May-13 04:19:55

Hello, congratulations - you haven't won the lottery.

Huh? Then op had a half hour rant at the fuckwit for not giving her a disease he didn't have.

I'm even more confused than normal........ (hey AF, here's your chance to drop in another personal insult, you have this one for free.)

Madamecastafiore Wed 15-May-13 04:45:20

If someone said to me 'IF I cheat' that would be the nail in the coffin. FFS he may as well have said when. Why did you not dump someone there and then who was basically saying they may not be faithful to you.

As for telling him? Why? Nothing to be gained by either of you. You didn't have anything so should have just been glad about that and gone on your merry way.

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 06:52:03

A bit bored, cron ?

AuntieStella Wed 15-May-13 07:00:13

"they did ask if I could get in contact with him about it"

Before or after results? I think there's been a misunderstanding here. They really want you to be able to tell if you have an STI, to limit spread. It isn't necessary for an all clear, and I think you've over interpreted a pre-test standard question.

At least you never have to talk to him again.

RootinTootin Wed 15-May-13 13:35:36

I can see why you would be furious at a guy who did not give you an sti.

It makes perfect sense.

Buzzardbird Wed 15-May-13 14:07:51

Think I would have been more inclined to leave a message saying that you had been to clinic and he needed to make an appointment asap.

Just because you are clear doesn't mean he is and the worry may have done him good.

Booyhoo Wed 15-May-13 16:00:27

But why would op even need to leave him a message yo get checked out? If her test showed something then yes, obviously she should let him know but his sexual health isnt Ops responsibility. Only he knows wether hes been shagging about unprotected so its up to him To get tested. The fact that op decided to get tested doesnt suddenly mean he is more likely to have something. Odd logic if it is what the clinic advised but i still think you've misunderstood.

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