Really hoping for some clarity/objectivity here..
Married for 9 years.. 3 kids..(1st arrived after 2years together). I work PT, DH works FT. Big financial stresses (who hasn't)..... I am finding it really hard to get over some things that have happened in our relationship and some other things that are currently happening.
in the past: DH stopped having sex with me about 6 years ago because 'I had let myself go' this was just after I had our second baby and while I was managing all the renovations to our house... This devastated me... Then out of the blue about 2 years ago he said that the reason he had stopped having sex was that really that he blamed me for getting him into the 'family way' so to speak and I deduced from this that he was punishing me.
He has actively kept me and his friends apart.... Every time a night out is arranged he used to say 'boys only' and then come home and say that other girlfriends/wives were there. When I challenged him on this he told me he 'didn't know' they were coming. I politely suggested that he ask in future and then we would be better placed to make a decision. Cue several repeats where I am at home with the kids and he is out.
Currently:we are going through marriage guidance after years of requests from me. I am really hurting with the process at the minute. He is cooperating in his own way but am not sure its enough.
He is going to a party this weekend with other friends he knows through his hobby... I happen to know that I have been invited by the organiser but sadly DH has not mentioned this to me or asked me if I would like to come... WTF??!!
Sex life is non-existent... It was never great but I felt I tried my best to seduce/see his point of view. Consequence of this is zero intimacy... He expects laughs and outward displays of affection around others... (but doesn't provide same at home)
I am anxious and stressed and receiving treatment for this... I think however that he plays on my weaknesses..
What do you all think? I know I am not perfect but I have tried so hard to be reasonable and meet him half way. I am 37 xx
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Relationships
perpective - am too close to see it
Pleasecansomeonereply · 14/05/2013 16:56
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