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Would you be comfortable with your dp meeting up with an old friend...

(179 Posts)
annabanana84 Tue 14-May-13 07:31:40

...who happens to be female, very pretty and single?

They were good friends throughout childhood, and although they occasionally bump into each other while out shopping etc and say a quick hello, how are you?, they haven't remained in contact. There's never been any romantic history as far as I know.

Now they have arranged to meet up and go for a curry and a few drinks and a great big jolly old catch up, and I feel quite uncomfortable with this. DP doesn't have any female friends he sees out of work or otherwise anyway, he only ever goes out with his few male pals.

JenaiMorris Thu 16-May-13 13:39:14

The only sexism I can see on this thread are those posts that tried to persuade her to swallow any discomfort she had and which tried to cast her as a hysterical, paranoid and jealous woman.

I've not seen any of that. I have however seen posters try to express that being in a relationship with a man who makes you feel that way is not a good thing.

Nobody should feel "hysterical, paranoid and jealous". Nobody. If they do then they need to look at their relationship and try to establish just why they feel that way.

There are myriad reasons for feeling jealous, not least of which is being with an arse of a partner.

I'm not smug. There's plenty that isn't great between my partner and I tbh. Just not this.

badinage Thu 16-May-13 14:46:50

Look, the most reasonable response to an OP like this is to say that it doesn't matter what other posters would feel about this, because like many other conflicts in relationships, it's all about context. And apart from the OP's other threads, one brief post doesn't give us that.

I just wish that posters would read between the lines a bit more and realise that although a poster has perhaps unwisely asked what other people in other relationships might feel, those responses really aren't going to help her deal with her conflict in her relationship.

Cathartic though it might be for other posters to talk about their own relationships, none of that is of any relevance to an OP who for her own unknown reasons, doesn't want to come back to her own thread to talk about hers.

voddiekeepsmesane Thu 16-May-13 14:57:46

badinage isn't the point that people will always be coloured by their own experiences. We can empathise but ultimately it is only our own experiences that we can truely take knowledge from and base our opinions.

If as you say it dosen't matter what other people feel or say about any given situation then MN would be a much much quieter place. It is human nature to want to share experiences and opinions and quite often be pulled up or vindicated by those around us.

Hemlet Thu 16-May-13 15:14:15

I wouldn't be comfortable with it if my husband did that because it would be out of character for him to meet with friends and not invite me along.

Sure no problem for him to have female friends - but not go on a 'date' with someone who's just popped back into his life

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