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DH says he wants a divorce 5 weeks after having dc2

(9 Posts)
SleepingWombat Mon 13-May-13 13:15:43

Thats it in a nutshell. Had dc2 5 weeks ago (dc1 is 18 months) and dh announced last night during a fight that he has been miserable in our marriage for the past five years because I am so vile to be with and that he wants out and that I can be someone elses problem sad
I fully admit that I have been a hormonal nightmare the past few weeks, not helped by his parents staying with us, but I had no idea he was this miserable and I have no idea what to do. I have no job, very little money and nowhere to go to. Please help sad

badgeroncaffeine Mon 13-May-13 13:18:04

If he wants a divorce, give him one..why stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

peeriebear Mon 13-May-13 13:21:06

You don't have to go anywhere.
Has he been at all helpful with the new baby? Has he helped with DC1 to take the pressure off you?
You can be someone elses problem? He sounds like a prick.

Sariah Mon 13-May-13 13:22:10

The fact it was said during a row probably means that he didnt mean it. It sounds more like that he just doesnt want to deal with whats going on rather than acutally wanting out. Get his parents to baby sit and out out with him for a few hours and talk. There is so much change at the moment that you are both obviously under alot of stress. I think you will probably be able to sort things out.

Geeklover Mon 13-May-13 13:23:14

Awww huge hugs.
Unread your thread last night about the strain of his behaviour and having pil staying.
From what you said yesterday it's not you that's been vile it's him. He just wants you to believe it's you to make himself feel less guilty.
I know it's hard but I agree if he wants it give it to him. I guarantee you 100% that when the initial hurt and fear goes away you will discover life is ten times better and less stressful with him not in it. I am speaking from experience here.

cozietoesie Mon 13-May-13 13:23:19

Goodness, how long have his parents been staying with you? Are they helping out or are you and DH having to 'host' ?

Nagoo Mon 13-May-13 13:23:47

What do you want?

You are in no position to do anything about job or money you have a tiny baby.

It's not about where you are going to go, it's him that needs to worry about where he is going.

cozietoesie Mon 13-May-13 13:24:18

Ah - didn't realize there was a previous thread.

SleepingWombat Mon 13-May-13 13:55:59

Thanks for the messages. I don't know what I want. Although we have been bickering alot lately, I didn't see this coming. His parents live overseas (happily) so there will be no babysitting from them. They were here for about six weeks to help out, and they did help with things like cooking and entertaining dc1 but in the mists of baby blues I came accross as hugely ungrateful because all I wanted to do was sit around and cry and I didn't want to do it in front of them so stayed in the bedroom with dc2 sad It did feel like there was a lot of "hosting" involved and their comments about how much dc2 was crying weren't very helpful hmm

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