I sent a letter to mum saying that i have had enough of her abuse, lies and emotional manipulation over the last 30 years. She has been told last week that she has borderline personality disorder.
I wrote that i would only communicate in writing until she was able to permanently change her behaviour (i know she won't change but was trying to lessen the blow for my enabler dad), so no visits or phonecalls (she only criticises or screams abuse anyway). I was not abusive, just firm as need to protect myself from the ongoing hurt. I ended the letter 'I would like to have a relationship based on mutual respect. However, it is your choice. If you are unable to do this then we will be unable to do this, then we will be unable to have any relationship at all.'
Received the following letter back:
I am sorry to hear that you cannot call or visit and that you have to write a letter. How embarrassed and hurt do you think i feel, you obviously think i do not hurt. Think again!
Why do you think i don't talk much on the phone? It is not because i do not love you.
I have a brain disorder. Do you think if i had known this years ago i would have done nothing about it? Thirty years is a long time to live with something that is treatable but left undiagnosed. I haven't totally ruled out treatment i just have to find one that may work. I assure you this is not because of a lack of trying.
What do you think? I am not being bullied into changing my behaviour when none of it is intentionsble. Only putting the phone down before i really do say something nasty. You should be able to recognise a clash of personalities.
So, i want to reply but not be unkind or getting into an ongoing battle. My first letter was to the point but not nasty. Any ideas? I will ignore future letters if they are going to be abusive etc, but would like to send one last reply.
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Help in replying to this letter from narc mum (sorry, long)
43 replies
MillyMollyMandy78 · 13/05/2013 10:44
OP posts:
MrsDeVere ·
13/05/2013 13:11
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