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Father/children relationship

(66 Posts)
margaritadrakeina Sun 12-May-13 20:13:05

If your DH told you that your children were entirely your responsibility because you are a SAHM and he is the one who works, what would you say/think?

Numberlock Mon 13-May-13 15:11:55

... and that's exactly what I mean by my colleagues. They are away most weeks from Monday morning to Friday evening, comment that they 'can't cope' with their children, and I doubt have any significant interaction with them when they are at home.

LadyInDisguise Mon 13-May-13 15:40:07

Yuck! I wouldn't want any of these men in life tbh.

Numberlock Mon 13-May-13 15:44:46

No and I can't imagine you'd enjoy working with them much either...

lynniep Mon 13-May-13 15:58:00

I would say you married a tw*t. Children are the responsibility of both parents. You are both full time parents. happens to work outside the home in 'office hours' You work inside the home. He is earning money by working outside the home. You are saving the familiy childcare fees by doing working inside the home. Outside of 'office hours' is family time and attention is required from both parents. A man who takes no responsibility for his children is not a father. He is a d*ck.

Numberlock Mon 13-May-13 16:01:51

He is earning money by working outside the home. You are saving the familiy childcare fees by doing working inside the home

... as well as enabling him to work uninhibited by not having to do any childcare during working hours (eg childminder pick-ups, school drop-offs, football training, dentist etc etc) which would be the case if both parents worked.

theduchesse Mon 13-May-13 20:52:28

He does so little for the kids you had to include that he says hello to them in your list of their interactions. That is not normal. Most dads want to spend time with their kids.

KatieScarlett2833 Mon 13-May-13 20:54:13

I would have said...
No, just LTB, far quicker. What an arse.

Snog Thu 23-May-13 20:21:08

I suggest you need to get a full time job then clearly everything should be split 50/50 in terms of housework and childcare.
If your dh won't pull his weight then consider why you would want to stay with him quite carefully

Mrsdarcyiwish10 Sun 20-Nov-16 12:25:59

I feel for you, my dh is on his last chance of many with me to change, he ignores the dc, criticise's them, doesn't do anything with them, his hobbies come first always, dc are upset by this, I am seriously reconsidering my marriage and so should you be, I hate to see my children upset by indifference.

WickedBadZoot Sun 20-Nov-16 12:34:24

Zombie thread. Mrs I suggest you start your own thread for advice smile

Mrsdarcyiwish10 Sun 20-Nov-16 12:45:02

Probably should, just wanted to say there are others going through the same thing.

corythatwas Sun 20-Nov-16 14:02:58

margaritadrakeina Sun 12-May-13 20:13:05
"If your DH told you that your children were entirely your responsibility because you are a SAHM and he is the one who works, what would you say/think"

If my dh said that, I'd make him a doctor's appointment, as it would be totally out of character. I'd be thinking Alzheimer's...

Other possible reactions:

what does he think happens to children who have to working parents- are they nobody's responsibility?

what is he going to tell them when they grow up and tell him they don't feel they really know him- that getting to know them as people was less important to him than making a point to you about SAHM?

My dh works a fulltime job and has a 5 hour commute on top of that: he still manages to find enough time to interact with his children.

Myusernameismyusername Sun 20-Nov-16 14:49:51

I think I would feel like have provided an heir and a spare to a man who wanted the kudos of a family life but from afar, to not actually join in and enjoy it. I would worry about his bond with them growing up and if he is emotionally detached from them and how that would affect them. I would also feel like a baby machine or some kind of house servant. Maybe he allowed me to have them to give me something to 'occupy' me so he could be free to enjoy his own free time. I mean without the kids tying you to the home of an evening and weekend you might get a life of your own or want to do things together

I would feel sad

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sun 20-Nov-16 14:53:10

ZOMBIE THREAD

Start your own thread if you want advice - this one is three years old FFS

Myusernameismyusername Sun 20-Nov-16 14:56:12

I didn't check the date!

OurBlanche Sun 20-Nov-16 14:57:27

OP was 3.5 YEARS ago ZOMBIE THREAD!

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