Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Can anyone offer any light?

(5 Posts)
mrsericnorthmaniwish Sat 11-May-13 21:45:59

I am posting a lot at the moment, if I don't I will go round the bendsad my h received a letter last week advising him I had begun divorce proceedings, his solicitors have since sent mine a letter saying he wants to try again, would like to go to counselling etc(funny, takes this for him to do all this, never bothered when we had problems in the past)and wants to make the marriage work etc as he still loves me. At the end of the letter it mentions he owes a family member two large sums of money, one amount I knew about but it's no longer the full amount(the letter mentions the full amount)as its been paid off monthly and is considerably less, the other amount I know nothing about. What does this mean for me and dcs? All I want is to be able to stay in the home until the dcs start secondary school, nothing more, this is about 6years time. Do these apparent loans mean anything? Can i really be scrubbed away in favour of some loan/agreement i know nothing of?I knew nothing about the second amount and am feeling rather deceived by it all tbh, this is the children's home and surely they should come first? The house is in h's name only and I am sahm. Thanks for reading, any advice appreciated

SolidGoldBrass Sat 11-May-13 21:48:30

Go back to your solicitors and ask their advice. Is it a member of your family or of his family he owes the money to? It may be the case, particularly if it's his relative and you never knew about it, that it's completely his problem and not yours.

mrsericnorthmaniwish Sat 11-May-13 21:54:29

Nothing to do with me or my family, they have some trust agreement according to the letter. I am quite upset as if its not bad enough to feel like I do I get this on top, i feel I have not been told the truth, I think I should have been advised about these loans, despite it not being my family, that's why I feel, like you say, it should be their problem not mine. Surely the dcs come first? I intend to phone solicitor monday. Thank you for replyingsmile

SolidGoldBrass Sun 12-May-13 01:56:15

Worth bearing in mind that his solicitor will request/insist/suggest whatever your STBXH asks for. Doesn't mean it will actually happen. Doesn't mean it's actually true (if H is lying to the solicitor).

The thing with loans between family members is that they are quite tricky to prove/disprove. His old mum might have given him £2000 and said, don't worry about paying me back, son, or Pay me back when you can, and even if they fall out badly, it would be a job to prove who is telling the truth. Equally, his dodgy uncle might have agreed to say that he lent H £3000 when no money ever changed hands. Talk it through with your solicitor and try not to worry.

Lavenderhoney Sun 12-May-13 06:11:58

Any loan would have to be proved, showing the transaction between accounts.
A cash loan could show the amount coming out of your bank account then of course how to prove the cash went where he says. Even then, unless the other person agrees it was a loan, its better if there is paoerwork, which could be falsified anyway. He could have just opened another account for himself with cash and pretended he gave it to someone as a loan.

If the person needed the cash for a car, say there would be a paper trail, but even then, it could be a gift.

If its all cash, I expect the inland revenue would be interested, as people just don't hold cash in large sums anymore.

Just tell your solicitor and don't worry if you can help it. You could also post on legal thread here for more advice.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now