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Wish I was ok with him going away for the night but I just don't trust him

(13 Posts)
AAdamsA Fri 10-May-13 20:26:05

Partner is almost 42 and he's gone away to a neighbouring city to "see a band" involving a stay over in a travel lodge with his 26 year old mate.
DP has a habit of trying to act a lot younger than he is too fit in with the "lads" at work. Last year he went away to a festival "with a mate" who was only 22 and ended up "partying" with 18 and 19 year old girls. He doesn't see the problem.

Now he told me tonight was just to see a band and have a few drinks. They got there for 5pm and started drinking straight away. I started receiving drunken texts off him about 6pm - can you believe he text me asking:

"have you got any single fit nurse mates for my mate?" how old are we again, 12?

Anyway his mate added me to facebook and then sent me a message saying that DP wouldn't stop going on about me - obviously drunk, the message barely made sense. I'm wondering if DP told him to send it. This bloke then starts posting facebook statuses on his wall about being pissed up in leeds, party in leeds, best place to go to pull in leeds, we're so drunk and having a blast kinda thing. DP sent me a message about half an hour ago saying "do you love me?" and I replied "of course I do, do you love me?" and I've received no reply.

I don't trust him. He wants to fit in so badly with these lads I think he'd do anything to show that "he's da man". He has form for internet flirting and porn too. I'm cutting myself up here wondering what he's up to. sad normal 42 year olds don't act like this do they?

SorryMyLollipop Fri 10-May-13 20:29:26

How long have you been together? Do you have any reason to not trust him?

AAdamsA Fri 10-May-13 20:29:31

His mate has just posed a photo of a drunken DP onto my facebook wall. I'm dreading seeing what will appear on that wall later sad

AAdamsA Fri 10-May-13 20:30:37

Been together just over a year. My reasons not to trust him are because I caught him out on plenty of fish whilst we were dating actively trying to arrange dates with other women.

SorryMyLollipop Fri 10-May-13 20:47:56

Hmmm. It's difficult to recover that trust. I don't really know what to say. If you were supposed to be exclusive when he was chasing other women than that would be a deal breaker for me because I would consider him untrustworthy. Hopefully someone wiser will be along in a minute.

ohtobecleo Fri 10-May-13 21:21:20

I would hesitate to attribute behaviour to a certain age ("you're as old as you feel" and all) but my first instinct is that if they had anything to hide they wouldn't be posting their actions all over your facebook wall.

hf128219 Fri 10-May-13 21:23:50

Why is he friends with blokes 20 years younger?

Not that I have a problem with that! My DH does too but it's over shared interests. Is it that?

Lweji Fri 10-May-13 21:29:33

You've only been together for 1 year.
Cut your losses short.

blueshoes Fri 10-May-13 21:45:17

Not a keeper

Doha Fri 10-May-13 21:47:57

Cut and run,
You really don't need the stress or embarssement of seeing a drunken DP on the piss and pull with younger mates posted all over FB.

You are worth more than that

AAdamsA Fri 10-May-13 22:30:23

Still no reply to my text - yet he found time to go on his phone and update his facebook status to tell the world what he was up to.

helpmesum1 Fri 10-May-13 22:35:39

out of sight out of mind (get rid )

Bossybritches22 Fri 10-May-13 22:42:55

And what exactly do you get out of the relationship?

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