Which dating site is best? Opinions please..

[MumWithCamera]

I have a male friend who's had a bad time of it with cold-hearted ex-gf last year and he's now single and looking for love. He's signed up to Plenty of Fish but doesn't seem to be having much luck finding Mrs Right.

I dont have any experience with dating sites, so wonder if its this website that's the problem - should he try Match or eHarmony instead? If anyone has positive experiences which sites do you recommend for finding a love-match? So far he's had a few dubious people - one was saying she wanted to come live with him when hadn't even met him and only messaged him twice

Thanks in advance for suggestions - you will (hopefully) be turning my friend's life around and bringing a bit of happiness

And before you suggest it - I am happily with DP and we have a DD together, so I'm not in the running! Just looking to help a friend!

[MumWithCamera]

OOps I guess that should be 'Miss Right' - or perhaps 'Mrs Right' if she's a divorcee?!

[issey6cats]

im on several dating sites as im single now match.com a lot of people dont pay so they cant message you get a lot of views and winks but thats it, i even paid for 3 months and didnt get one single message, POF you have to sort through and weed out the losers, the nutters and players, but i have met a couple of nice guys on there aswell, oasis dating is dependant on people being online at the same time as you, but it is free, smooch.com is free and so far i have found this to be quite a good site with less of the idiots around, meetme.com is a good site for making friends but i havent had a date emerge from there yet, i dont know bout other paid sites as i havent got the budget to pay for loads of sites,

the best thing your friend can do is actually contact people he likes the look of as women on dating sites dont seem to do well if they contact first and just keep logging in and see whos in there

[Bricklestick]

Avoid the free sites like the plague. I met my OH on Guardian Soulmates. People who are prepared to pay for their internet dating sites tend to be a bit more serious about their aims, if you see what I mean.

[MumWithCamera]

Thanks both that's useful. I was thinking that paid sites made more sense.
anyone any experience of parship e harmony, another friend mentioned them...

[StuffezLaYoni]

I paid for three months of Match and it was an utter waste of money. Some real creeps and idiots. Been on ok Cupid a week and there seem to be a lot more nice men on there.

[Coffee1Sugar]

I have plenty of single friends! What's his stats?

[CherryMonster]

i just signed up to plenty of fish and am finding it ok so far.

[MirandaWest]

I met my lovely bf on okcupid (we were both on free dating and POF as well).

[AKissIsNotAContract]

I met DP on plenty of fish, we are getting married in September.

[lisaro]

A (lovely) male colleage swears he would never go on POF again - he was contacted by some odd types of women (one wasn't even physically a woman yet but TOLD him it didn't matter, and hes very non judgemental) Match was ok, avoid any free sites. Hes now been sating someone he met through friends for 6 months or so.

[Coffee1Sugar]

I met dp on POF 16months ago, we bought our house together in December.

[happyAvocado]

I remember there was a very good thread last year where someone like you was setting up dates with single mumsnetters - I haven't followed it but it looked very promissing

oh, and there was another one where mumsnetter was looking for a date for her exH

I would love to have found out if either was successful :)

[WarmFuzzyFun]

It all depends. Some sites are better for big towns/cities, some sites are more popular in particular geographical areas or for particular age groups.

I know that some people believe that the paid for sites are better, they generally aren't, as the same people are on both.

So I would advise, have a good written profile, take some great photos, one head shot smiling and a least one full body.

Don't expect to fall in love within the first week (it might happen, but it's unlikely). Would you walk into a pub/club or bar and expect to meet the Miss Right waiting at the bar?

It can work but he needs to be realistic and meet lots of women without expecting the happily ever after to happen. You can't predict the outcome at the outset.

[MumWithCamera]

Thanks Coffee, but he doesn't know I'm posting here and would probably be horrified so I will keep quite on more details for now!

Looks like OKCupid, Guardian Soulmates might be worth a look...
and POF some positive and negative experiences..
Will recommend these and fingers crossed he has more luck!

[Walkacrossthesand]

I'm in my 50s and I've tried: grown up dating (no response to messages, no messages); older dating (one coffee date with a couple of guys but no response from the seemingly better-suited ones I messaged); ivory towers ( ditto); and currently trying out guardian soul mates but similar experience. Given the lack of inclination of guys to respond to messages, I think I might just stick up a profile on a free site, where at least 'no joy' isn't costing me anything! . Oh, and yy to the same guys being on several sites.

[ohtobecleo]

I had the most success on Guardian Soulmates (best quality in my experience)....until I turned 40 and then people stopped contacting me, almost overnight (neither my photos nor my profile had changed). Since then I'm with walkacrossthesand, I've been on PoF for a while (I'm not paying anymore for 'no success'). There's a lot of time-wasters and I've only had one coffee date (which turned out to be unsuitable) but it's early days.....

[rcs19]

I used mysinglefriend.com. Best £20 I've ever spent- met dh and now have 2 dd's.

[dippymother]

How about Over Fifties (apparently there are Over Forties, Over Thirties et al too, all part of the same group), Dating Direct (part of Match.com), and Loveandfriends?

[Fairylea]

I met my dh on plenty of fish :)

[WafflyVersatile]

okcupid IMO.

guardian soulmates: pofaced
plenty of fish: blokey essex man
match.com creeps
okcupid: fetishists

waffly versatile - providing quality stereotypes since 1893.

[WafflyVersatile]

That rather gives the impression I'm after fetishists. I'm not.

I haven't been on match except very briefly but over and again I hear 'creeps' being used in the same sentence.

pof I tended to get messaged by older men who live just outside london and are quite blokey traditional.

I didn't find much humour on the guardian lot but I didn't really commit to it.

okcupid more younger men looking for short term things. I also seem to attract the polyamourous, who mostly seem to live in Oxford for some reason. But you can answer loads of questions to refine your search which works fairly well so they don't seem to throw up people who are completely unlikely. ie don't suggest tories when you are clearly more socialist etc.

[VelvetSpoon]

It's something of a fallacy that only 'decent' people will be on paid sites.

There are plenty of weirdos (of both sexes) on both the free and the paid sites.

TBH it's a process of trial and error. All the men I have encountered via POF (with possibly 1 exception) have been vanishers, timewasters, married - but pretending to be single, perverts, sex-obsessed nutters, unattractive, unintelligent, misogynistic, racist, sexist, homophobic....I could go on but you get the picture.

OKC is a haven for the polyamorous, fetishists etc. I never even got a message worth replying to!

MSF is terrible, very low traffic and most people aren't subscribed.

Eharmony is even worse. Run by Christians and won't let anyone spearated but not divorced be a member . Also they pick your matches for you, and there's something weird about the photos, can't remember what exactly but I think you can't see people's photos unless you're a mutual match or something (I never joined but have heard several people say this in the past)

Sites like GSM are good if you're a) in a big city, or near to one and c) are a middle class guardian reader. Or look like you are.

I have heard good reports about Lovestruck, but I believe it's only in London. And again I suspect a little bit middle class and earnest.

I'm going to say Match is the best because that's where I met the lovely man I am dating :) One good thing about it is that they often do 3 day free trials, which are worth a try.

[drfayray]

I am divorced and 51. I have been on a few sites. I am in Australia though. Just joined POF and been inundated by messages. I am actually meeting one guy for coffee in an hour and another one tomorrow afternoon.
There is a third that I quite like too. We have been messaging a bit.

I am being realistic. I had a lot of weird experiences last year on another site called RSVP.

I never message men first ever. If they want to know me they can contact me first.
Good luck to your friend

[jynier]

I know nothing at all about dating sites; just wanted to say hi! to the wonderful drfayray! Hope that you and DCs are okay and still doing well! Best wishes, x

[MsFanackerPants]

Met DP on the Guardian. Together 3 years and I'm expecting our first baby in November. POF was good for a fling and had a few dates through OKC.
As well as the advice about pictures etc be prepared to travel for dates. I lived in a big city but was willing to travel upto 50 miles or so. As it turned out DP lived 5 miles from me and knew my best friend when we were all teens (more embarrassingly he also knows 2 of my drunken shags from uni)