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Do you and your DH/DP go to bed at the sane time?

(53 Posts)
NothingsLeft Thu 09-May-13 19:33:07

And do you feel it's important?

DH never comes to bed at the same time as me and I feel like it effects our relationship. I always ask him to come when I go but he never does. He stays up watching crap in telly or using the Internet.

I am in bed quite early as DS is a terrible sleeper and quite likely to wake at least twice and it's the only way I can cope. I can't remember the last time we went to bed at the same time. I don't know why it bothers me it just does hmm

TobyLerone Thu 09-May-13 20:22:49

Every night. We have never, ever been to bed at different times. Even if DH is working, he'll just bring his laptop upstairs and work in bed.

Lately I've been seriously knackered and going to bed ridiculously early. I suggested to DH that he didn't have to come to bed with me and he was horrified at the thought!

I do think it's important. I hope we always do it.

EuroShaggleton Thu 09-May-13 20:22:57

Almost never. I got to bed an hour or two before him. I prefer it. It's my little bit of me time. I faff in the ensuite (remove nail varnish or pluck eyebrows or whatever) then read/play on phone/watch tv. I loved living alone and find having someone in the house all the time a bit of a strain. That hour or two helps my sanity.

MoodyDidIt Thu 09-May-13 20:26:40

yeah unless one of us has gone out for the evening

its really important IMO

my ex used to stay up really late playing xbox the big child and i hated it. its nice to go to bed early, not just for sex but to snuggle up, talk, even just watch tv together

NothingsLeft Thu 09-May-13 20:27:14

hoot our lives sound similar. I'm envious but pleased about the sleep throughssmile May be I should embrace a more interesting sex life too....

AF he does do his fair share of nights now (after my PND breakdown). He expects to sleep in though while I get up with DS.

GibberTheMonkey Thu 09-May-13 20:30:48

Very rarely
We keep each other awake if we do and it's not good.

NothingsLeft Thu 09-May-13 20:33:13

Before DS we went to bed together. I was a night owl midnight owl but I'm knackered these days so head up for 10pm

Lavenderhoney Thu 09-May-13 20:36:14

No way! He works most evenings and gets in about midnight.

If he is home, then I go first as I like to read and we don't have a tv in the bedroom, I don't like it.

If I do wait up, then he will usually watch a bit of TV/ do emails then bed.

The dc wake in the night and I have to get up with them, plus they are up at 6. I am knackered enough without staying up.

Squitten Thu 09-May-13 20:38:12

During the week, we often don't. DH's social stuff generally takes place on weekday evenings with work people or friends in the middle of town, he often works late, etc. I'm pregnant and am generally zonked out by 10pm. If DH is home, we generally do go to bed at the same time and definitely on weekends.

PosyNarker Thu 09-May-13 20:42:35

We don't always but I would prefer when we do (other than when it makes no sense like e.g. I need to be up at 0430 for a flight). I think I am a bit sensitive about this because I broke up with an ex and one of the things that signalled the beginning of the end was when we stopped going to bed at the same time.

That said, I need (genuinely) more sleep than he does or I get cranky. I don't sleep more than the next person, but he can get by on less.

HootShoot Thu 09-May-13 20:44:21

They do sound similar! I hope your DS gets the sleeping through thing soon, I have always told myself it can't possibly last forever! This thread has made me realise how much I want things to change, so thank you for starting it. I think I'll talk to DH this weekend and say it would be nice if we could go to bed together a couple of times a week.

NothingsLeft Thu 09-May-13 20:44:53

I don't want to go to bed together every night as I quite like having time to myself. Occasionally it would be nice, just to reconnect a bit or may be its not as important as I thought..confused

KitchenandJumble Thu 09-May-13 20:48:57

No, almost never. He's a night owl, I'm an early bird. I really enjoy that time in the evenings on my own, winding down, reading in bed. If DH comes into the bedroom to talk to me during that time, I'm not always best pleased. He stays up for several more hours, watching TV, reading, writing.

I don't think it affects our emotional connection or sex life. We just prefer it this way.

NothingsLeft Thu 09-May-13 20:54:32

May be its part of the having young kids thing hoot DS is 13 months, so still little.

Things have changed so much in our relationship in the last year I guess I miss how we used to be. The odd bedtime snuggle would be nice. I hope you get yours smile

inchoccyheaven Thu 09-May-13 22:45:15

wow I actually feel normal now as I thought most couples were going to say yes and not only do me and DH not go to bed at same time we have separate rooms. Originally because of my snoring but as he has always got up about 5am for work and I work evenings it suits us much better.

Sex did suffer but now dc are pre teens its almost easier as they seem to know that if I go into DH room not to bother knocking blush and we do it a lot more now and take advantage when they go out as well.

Mosman Fri 10-May-13 04:31:58

Mine used to sit up half the night on the Internet, which led to him driving 600 miles to fuck one of them. Oh if I could go back in time he'd be coming to bed at 11 every night with me

SummerDad Fri 10-May-13 04:37:57

different times, but then we sleep in separate rooms smile

Meringue33 Fri 10-May-13 05:00:48

Nope. I go to bed early he stays up late. Before DC we used to DTD on Weekend mornings or early eve on sofa. Now we have LO (4 months) I am not sure how we will ever fit if in...

AnyFucker Fri 10-May-13 06:31:54

Mos, he'd have still found a way sad

rubyrubyruby Fri 10-May-13 06:38:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper Fri 10-May-13 06:39:46

At the weekend we usually do, but rarely during the week. I need more sleep.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 10-May-13 06:46:13

We do. We are both owls and go to bed about midnight. It's a lovely time for chatting and I feel very close to him. It was a bit more varied when DD was tiny and awake in the night, in the first few months. I think I would be sad if we didn't have that time together.

We do go to bed too late though and make each other worse, so sometimes I think it would be good if one of us was a morning person!

Mosman Fri 10-May-13 07:27:17

Agreed but I certainly made it easy for him and would be loathed to be that trusting again unfortunately

OrWellyAnn Fri 10-May-13 07:47:22

We do, but we don't sleep in the same room, so it doesn't really make a difference. This suits me for the moment as I usually have at least nice dc snuggling in in the early hours and I also need to read before sleeping and he hates the light pollution from that.
I actually prefer this arrangement, though I think he would eventually like us to share the bed I think he also enjoyed having his own space and sleeping well.
We still have as much sex as before.

OrWellyAnn Fri 10-May-13 07:49:52

Inchoccy, glad it is not just us! smile I'd find it so hard to share with anyone now...I sometimes wonder if that's sad, but not sure I care if it is! smile

cuillereasoupe Fri 10-May-13 08:26:35

Never. He works nights, goes to bed usually between four and five and is up between eleven and midday. It's a bit of a PITA but it's the nature of his job, so there's not much I can do about it.

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