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Not a relationship, but just called time on a FWB thing thats been going on for erm about 3 years

(14 Posts)
TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 00:37:34

Might be longer tbh, I forget.


LemonPeculiarJones Thu 09-May-13 00:38:59

Aw. Always hard ending things. What happened?

AvrilPoisson Thu 09-May-13 00:41:26

Ah nutty, commiserations my dear... but I'm sure you ended it for a reason.

Chin up- something else is just around the corner smile thanks

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 00:42:50

He treated me like crap lol. He always has done, but tonight, i blocked his email and any other way he has of contacting me, and it's done.

I'll get flamed for this but he wasn't single when he was seeing me. He's had 2 gf's in the space of time we've been fwb's. He just split with the last one and so isn't seeing me either anymore, cos he is free to shag about, so i'm surpless to requirements.

Serves me right really tbh

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 00:44:15

Thanks avril. Unfortunatly experience tells me otherwise, but nothing has to be better than this anyway.

theigloohaslanded Thu 09-May-13 00:46:28

who is this guy? funny, was just boy's dad (6yo) has never really been interested in him but still sees me (flame mail here too) and I'm wondering whether to give him the boot! Hard, isn't it?

SolidGoldBrass Thu 09-May-13 00:48:43

I'm not going to flame you. I'm going to suggest you have a think about why you were prepared to put up with crap from this man for so long, and how to not do it again. Have you had previous abusive relationships? Abusive person in the family (not necessarily a rapist but a bully or a manipulator or someone who insisted that women exist for men's benefit and that a woman without a Man In Her Life is a failure...)?

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 00:54:15

It is very hard igloo.

I'm not actually sure if i was in an abusive relationship before tbh. It was a bit I suppose yeh. I was 18 when i met my ex and he was 38. I stayed with him cos i didn't know how not to tbh.

The fwb was someone i met at work just beore i split with xp. Nothing happened then, but we used to chat a lot.
I think I was just shocked that he'd be interested and i fell head over heels for him. I told myself that i didn't care if i couldn't be with him, and i think in the end i did care, but had accepted it. Truth is though he cared less about me than sit on his shoe.
He messaged me tonight to tell me his cock hurt cos he is single now, so shagging about.

LemonPeculiarJones Thu 09-May-13 00:55:55

No relationship is definitely better than being treated like shit.

He sounds like a nasty little git not worth your time. So well done Nutcracker.

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 00:57:47

Thanks smile

Not sure about the no relationship bit yet. Ive been single since i split with my ex, so fwb was all I had, and I had big feelings for him, so it's gonna be hard.

You are right though, he isn't worth it.

theigloohaslanded Thu 09-May-13 01:05:45

IMHO, better to have options. So, have gone on a dating site tonight, not 'cause I have time/energy etc for a relationship, I just know i feel more powerful, in control , better when having nice chats to new blokes with no obligations. Good luck, Nut xc

SolidGoldBrass Thu 09-May-13 01:12:43

TNOC: Well it's fairly likely that a man who chose you when you were a teenager and he was nearly 40 would have been abusive. Generally men who choose much younger women are inadequate and unpleasant and want a relationship in which they are The Boss; when the woman grows up and starts thinking for herself, men like these either dump her for another young - or at least vulnerable - woman or start beating or at least verbally abusing her. I think you may well have been taught to believe that men are superior to women and that the man is in charge of the relationship. It would be a good idea to promise yourself a year without engaging in any dating/sex/relationship-hunting, so you can work out who you are and what you want. If you are mid-30s and want to have a child I appreciate that it's going to feel much more worrying to do so, but it's better to have a child as a single mum than tie yourself to an arsehole for 20 years.

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 01:20:11

I don't think ive been taught that men are superior. I lived with my dad (through hard fought choice) from 12-18 and he worked his as off to provide for me and my brothers.

I do agree though that my relationship with my ex was probably abusive in a controlling sense at least. He wasn't violent but was quite over bearing sex wise.

TheOriginalNutcracker Thu 09-May-13 01:21:26

Oh, I have 3 dc btw and my focus is very much on them. Fwb was just a little something for me (who i loved but hey ho) but the dc never knew him.

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