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what to do?!

(4 Posts)
buggermewhatnext Wed 08-May-13 16:15:23

Hi all, never posted before but read regularly. Am at my wits end and just need advice. Want to split with partner- history of him drinking to much- been goig on for years now. So this had led to the destruction of our relationship. We barely talk. We sleep apart. There is no love left. This will sound awful but if he didnt come home today I would feel a weight lifting.
It s at the stage where home doesnt feel like home. Any conversation I have to start. He will talk to me when he s been drinking but I cant be in the same room as him when hes been drinking. So all in all its a nightmare. Have asked several times for him to consider putting house up for sale or at least renting it out to give us a break. He always gets nasty when I suggest this. Shouting, blaming me and then saying I will never tae his son away from him. I dont want to do that he can see him whenever but he threatens me with court etc. i
I feel totally alone dont want to share with friends as if I do and nothing changes I just feel a fool. Other people just split up end of story why cant I?
At the stages of feeling sick all the time. Its just bloody relentless. Help anyone??

sarahseashell Wed 08-May-13 16:21:01

do you go to al-anon? If not you will get some support there.

SoHHKB Wed 08-May-13 16:28:12

Go easy on yourself and get some support - that's what friends and MN are for! Nobody 'just splits up' - it can be really tough for everyone, even or maybe especially for the person who makes the decision.
If you're not happy talking to RL friends, find online support or a helpline, a family member or a health visitor or doctor and talk, talk, talk - it will help you come to decision/make a plan/move forwards instead of going round in circles. Maybe see a solicitor too...
Good luck smile

Snorbs Wed 08-May-13 16:41:30

The fear of change can be overwhelming but you need to balance that with the fear of carrying on as you are for the rest of your life. There is one thing to be said for being in a horrible relationship - life isn't going to get any worse if you split. The only way is up.

Long-term stress takes a heavy physical and mental toll. It was when the stress I was under living with my alcoholic partner started to cause serious physical symptoms I realised that I couldn't carry on like that. It would've ended up killing me.

Let's take a look at the practicalities. Do you work? Does he? How old is your son? Do you have any family near by who could help out?

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