What is it with married/attached men?

[DotCottonsHairnet]

Am relatively newly single (Dec 2012) and am now getting out more and having a social life. Meeting new people and generally having a good time - however the only men I seem to attract are married/attached ones . Last thing I need is to put anyone through the pain I have been through so they've all met with a big NO. Some of them have been the sort I'd go for too except I don't want an attached person or someone who'd cheat on their partner - been there - had that done to me

[SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly]

Me too! I must just have a 'bit on the side' look about me

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Having been single for a long time now, I'm intrigued at which married men go in for this in the first place. Very often the safe, dependable-looking, 'boring' ones IME. (Rather like myself, in fact) When I read on here 'my DH isn't the type' I have to smile because there really isn't 'a type' :)

[FreddieMisaGREATshag]

When I was first separated I had tons of married men latch onto me. I am going to agree (again ) with Cognito.

Now I'm outgoing, happy, life is sorted and they don't come near. I think sleazeballs sense the vulnerability.

[scaevola]

I think the key is in the 'newly single' bit. Decent men spot this, maybe subconsciously, and realise you still need time and healing space. That leaves the shits who aren't so bothered about your well-being and who think they may as well have a go.

There is nothing wrong with you. Keep going with single life, audition new men ruthlessly, and good luck!

[bobbywash]

scaevola you're right to a point. It is the newly single thing, there is an air of vunerability about some people that makes them easy "prey" for those looking (it applies to women as well as men). I think from the person asking, it boils down to :- available, possibly missing affection (see I need to get laid thread) and not wanting a relationship so soon after the end of one.

In a while longer it settles down and you find that the ones that are in the same situation as you start to approach you more.