I have been with my partner for over 8 years.
He has been married previously and has two sons from that relationship which I adore and have a fantastic relationship with.
At the start we had a bumpy ride neither of us feeling like the other was fully committed but eventually we matured and bought a house together and shortly afterward I fell pregnant (planned) our DD is a welcome addition to the family unit and is adored by her big brothers.
The problem I have is when she was about 5 months old before I returned back to work I found a video on our laptop of my partner and another woman in a hotel room
I didn't see anything happen apart from flirting and chatting as the video was switched off.
I was absolutely devastated and felt as if the bottom had fallen out of my world, being a new mum with a 5 month old made me feel even more vulnerable. I left for a couple of weeks, them returned and forgave him on the basis that this event occurred prior to our daughter being conceived. As you can expect it has taken time to rebuild the trust and felt we were finally back to normal.
Until last weekend when I went to pay our council tax on line and found his private email account open and yes I confess I snooped. I found emails from last year when my daughter had just turned 1. The emails where very explicit to and from a woman.
He has completely denied anything actually went on blah blah his defence is he is just a stupid bloke.
I still love him but don't feel like being intimate with this person anymore because I have no trust.
If I leave he has said he will probably work abroad permanently and will see hardly anything of all 3 of the children, as he said he won't be able to cope.
We live on the outskirts of London but I'm not sure I could afford to stay if we separate and would like to stay south but my family are in Yorkshire and it would be easier for me to be closer to them.
He has already said he is keeping the house as he has contributed the most and we are not married so this would fall under land law.
But most importantly I'm worried about taking a father away from my daughter as he is a very good father and gets very involved with his children. Do I live a lie.
I know these are just two things I have discovered but guess there is much I don't know about too.
I feel like a mug but I'm scared to leave and break up everyone's lives by my actions. I know it's his actions that have caused this but we have grandparents, and her brothers nearby all of them will be devastated if I leave.
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I feel like a mug
15 replies
SKa1 · 07/05/2013 17:14
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