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Would you go on a date with a man who used the term "bunny boiler"?

(35 Posts)
Scarletohello Tue 07-May-13 11:56:29

So I met a guy on the internet, he seemed quite nice so we arranged to meet for a drink. I asked for his mobile no so I could text him when I got to the pub. He seemed quite reluctant to give it to me and when I asked why, he said it was in case I turned out to be a " bunny boiler" I bloody hate that phrase and told him I didn't want to meet a guy who regarded women like that. Of course he was v apologetic but I didn't meet him. What do other people think,was it an overreaction or a red flag?

burberryqueen Tue 07-May-13 11:57:58

Scarlet, if it was your gut reaction, go with it.

rubyslippers Tue 07-May-13 11:58:07

Your gut is telling you something

Listen to it

burberryqueen Tue 07-May-13 11:58:50

lol x post grin

Freddiemisagreatshag Tue 07-May-13 11:59:31

They beat me to it grin

AuntieStella Tue 07-May-13 12:00:24

I'd be bothered more about withholding his number than his turn of phrase.

If giving out his mobile number is too much for him, he's no where near ready for a date let alone a relationship. You were right to swerve.

Branleuse Tue 07-May-13 12:00:43

he's reasonable and so are you. Incompatible. Thats fine

AlfalfaMum Tue 07-May-13 12:00:46

Also, he's probably married.

CashmereHoodlum Tue 07-May-13 12:01:47

No. And the reluctance to give you his number would be a red flag too.

Machli Tue 07-May-13 12:02:58

No. Would out me right off.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 07-May-13 12:14:06

LOL!! The term itself wouldn't bother me particularly (hide of a rhino) but the implication that women would think he was worth stalking is hilarious.

As my DS would say 'epic fail'

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 07-May-13 12:14:48

Dodgy and best avoided OP - nothing like knowing where you stand early on.

Viviennemary Tue 07-May-13 12:20:21

When I first read the title I thought you were making something out of nothing. But now I've read your post I'd say avoid like the plague. He sounds a suspicious character. I bet he's hiding something. He sounds awful.

badinage Tue 07-May-13 12:37:57

No - it's a gut-wrenchingly horrible term used only by male and female sexists.

LapsedPacifist Tue 07-May-13 13:02:55

The term 'bunny boiler' says volumes about his attitude towards women, who are, let's be honest, FAR more vulnerable than men when giving out personal info and/or meeting strangers for the first time! shock

zippey Tue 07-May-13 13:44:22

I dont agree tha using the term is a reflection on someone attitudes, male or female. Its a turn of phrase people use, a bit like "smack head" or "wino" - I disagree it means anything.

However, I agree with most offerings on here that its a red flag that he doesnt want to give his mobile phone out. He is ready to meet you but not ready to give out his phone number?

If you do still want to meet him, I would give it some more time and talk on the phone too, to gauge things.

hellsbells76 Tue 07-May-13 13:48:06

Dodged a bullet there. It was very helpful of him to come out with such a revolting misogynist phrase before you'd even had to waste any time meeting him smile

Scarletohello Tue 07-May-13 13:58:12

Hellsbells, I like that phrase, dodged a bullet! I should tell him that ( but actually no, I'm not going to waste any more time on him) thanks for all the replies, glad people feel as strongly about it as me. In fact I think reading mn threads has made ne more aware of red flags and more able to set clear boundaries around them!

WafflyVersatile Tue 07-May-13 14:41:23

Well maybe he had a bad experience in the past. Either way it doesn't matter whether I would. And I probably wouldn't. You wouldn't and that's fine. YANBU.

MistyB Tue 07-May-13 14:49:21

It is possible he couldn't think of the words, 'I think it is wise not to give out my mobile number to someone I have only had Internet contact with but I'll have my smart phone with me and you can message me on line when you arrive.' and the other words just slipped out and he is now kicking himself. I wouldn't give out my number to someone I hadn't met yet.

ellengeorgia Tue 07-May-13 15:01:35

I agree OP I hate that phrase too... so sexist

Scarletohello Tue 07-May-13 15:13:56

The irony is he's sent me about 5 messages online since practically begging me to meet him! Guess it's him who's a bit of a bunny boiler now ha ha...

hellsbells76 Tue 07-May-13 15:14:59

Oh the irony. What a tosser. WELL rid.

CashmereHoodlum Tue 07-May-13 15:17:14

Glad you listened to your instinct, Scarletohello.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 07-May-13 15:41:17

Oh he was projecting his own weaknesses onto you..... ahhh..... that old chestnut.

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