have name changed, please don't out me if you recognise this and know my normal posting name, I feel the need to post under this one.
I posted another thread a while ago, I was seriously thinking about leaving DH and fair percentage of people on the thread said they would in my shoes. we were talking about a separation when I found out I was (most unexpectedly) pregnant with dc 2 (we have a 2.5 year old)...
the back story (which I have posted in detail before) is that he has behaved quite badly at times ever since DS arrived. shouting and swearing at me that I am a 'shit mother' (e.g. if I asked him to give me a break). when ds was very ill with eczema between 3-5 months he would come home and yell at me about the state of the house, yet ds was so ill I was spending the whole time looking after him with medicines, creams and he had dreadful diarrhoea from constant antibiotics.
when I had food poisoning he was yelling at me that I was a shit mother when I asked him for a break so I could sleep and try and keep some liquid down.
when DS broke his leg (at nursery) DH threw a tantrum about going to hospital instead of helping out (short version of story)
in between times he is helpful, but the shouting swearing tantrums really get to me, and I feel like I modify my behaviour to avoid them.
anyway... since finding out I was pregnant I have had hyperemesis, been admitted to hospital twice. DH on a number of occasions shouted and sworn at me when I was very ill in bed and needed him to look after ds. when ds broke my sick bowl in an accident DH screamed and swore at us both.
I just feel I saw the pregnancy as a chance for him to show me his behaviour has changed, and instead when I was at my most vulnerable he actted the same. in between times he is a good dad and does his share around the house etc. but the tempers are so draining. I confided in a friend last night and they couldn't even believe DH was capable of this.DH is remorseful now I have said how upset it made me, and upset about how he behaved in front of DS. but I am just so worried about how bad it will be when I am vulnerable again with a newborn (and highly likely another caesarean recovery). I almost feel it would be better to go it alone, but then I worry about whether this is a selfish thing to do to my children. DS would have to cope with me looking after him and a newborn on my own, and the baby would never know their dad..... hmmm.
sorry it is long. I will try and find my other thread and link as well
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thinking things through, would appreciate any advice / thoughts
StillStuck · 05/05/2013 19:28
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