Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

21 First Date Questions

(17 Posts)
BiscuitMillionaire Sun 05-May-13 05:28:17

This seems like a good idea. What questions would you add?

ALittleStranger Sun 05-May-13 09:14:40

Some of those questions are common sense and I think you'd struggle to meet someone without asking them.

Others are questions that people resort to when more natural conversation is flagging.

A couple I think are inapproriate for a first date. I would be put out if someone asked me if I took drugs or how many other people I was dating.

deliasmithy Sun 05-May-13 09:47:15

I think if you asked all of these the first time you met someone it would feel like an interrogation.

I find it a bit hilarious about the suggestion that generally differences in pet and holiday preferences should cause someone to rule out the person. Surely its about how important that or any other preference is and whether its negotiable?

badinage Sun 05-May-13 13:24:09

If I were single, at my age chances are the bloke would already have had kids. So I'd be finding out whether he pays his share of their costs and whether he regards himself as a lone parent and not a 'weekend and holidays' Dad. It really boils my piss when a bloke bails out of fathering.

SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly Sun 05-May-13 13:31:08

If someone asked me all those I'd feel uncomfortable. More of an interview then a date

Anniegetyourgun Sun 05-May-13 14:01:54

What questions, where, what?

ClippedPhoenix Sun 05-May-13 15:21:36

Blimey. What a load of twaddle grin I sure as hell wouldn't want to go on a date with someone who interviewed asked me all that.

A1980 Sun 05-May-13 15:42:22

Don't make a date a job interview. I've had dates like that before it puts an enormous amount of pressure on someone to be questioned non stop rather than letting conversation flow naturally.

I once got bombarded with questions including being asked "are you a challenge". What the hell?! There is no way to answer that question. If you say yes then it's admitting being difficult if you say no then you admit being a push over. I actually asked what they meant by that.

They also asked me about favourites. Favourite food, favourite film, etc. I don't know anyone who gets to know people based on favourites above the age of about 10.

Moanranger Sun 05-May-13 16:18:04

I read this slightly differently. The author suggests these as ice breakers, and never suggests that you ask all of them, as that would clearly be a bombardment.
I like the "How was your day?" Question for the reason she states - find out if they are positive or negative person. I myself also have a tendency to fill in conversational pauses with my own anecdotes, forgetting to ask other person about themselves.
Badinage a good point but could be asked (rather than"are you a crap father?") Something like a series, how many DCs do you have, how often do you see them, and go from there.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Sun 05-May-13 17:33:26

Yeah I liked the 'how was your day?' It's a good way to flag up pronto if someone is one of those drainers who will spend the whole time moaning.

ohtobecleo Sun 05-May-13 22:42:22

Surely (in this time of online dating) you'd probably have covered a lot of these on email before actually meeting? This just seems a little dated to me.

WafflyVersatile Sun 05-May-13 23:12:05

I think it would be easy enough to bring some of those into conversation, probably would anyway. Like how was your day. Of course you might just have had a bad day or be having a stressful time at work.

Some it might be harder to fit in to a flowing conversation, even if there is a gap so a change of subject.

''.....aw yeah, we had a cat too, she was adorable. So how do you feel about Palestine?''

WafflyVersatile Sun 05-May-13 23:39:28

Suggested alternatives:

Which is your favourite knee? And why?
What is down the back of your sofa?
Have you ever stopped for a chugger?
What do you argue about most with your mates down the pub?
What pet names have you given exes?
1 dessert each or do you think I'm going to share mine?
Do you actually play the guitar you mention in your profile or is it gathering dust in a corner? (2nd option preferred)
starter or pudding?

badinage Sun 05-May-13 23:57:47

Or you could ask the old favourites...

Blue Peter or Magpie?

Pepsi or Coke?

Steve Ovett or Seb Coe?

Beatles or Stones?

I'll get my coat......

sarahseashell Mon 06-May-13 00:06:33

definitely no second date with a pudding/chips sharer! get your own grin

Lavenderhoney Mon 06-May-13 06:37:12

Won't someone notice if you have a list with you? I would hate to have been questioned like this when I was dating, I might not have wanted to share quite so muchsmile and if you do all this at the first date, what on earth do you talk about at the second?

Alad Mon 06-May-13 07:16:52

The author is obviously single.....

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now