I've NC for this.
Years ago I cheated on my DH. I regretted it straight away. I've not told him but the guilt is killing me. I feel sick and I don't know what to do. I love my DH so much and I loved him at the time. I guess the OM gave me attention and I was flattered.
It was a one off, not that that makes it any better.
I have 3 options as I see it:
- I don't tell DH, I live with the guilt and I go on to be the best wife I can. I hope he never finds out and I'm 95% sure he won't, but there's always that chance. It's a chance I take.
- I tell him. He'll leave me and he'll be hurting. I will still feel the guilt.
- I can't even believe I'm writing this but anyone who searches my name will know I've just posted in mental health... I commit suicide. I've written suicide notes today. I feel like my mental health has been deteriorating for months as it is and I feel trapped inside my head. I don't know if I can go through with it or not but it seems the only option where my DH can be set free. Where I can be set free too.
Flame away, I couldn't feel any worse.