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You know when you start to wonder if there is anyone more suited to you out there?

(10 Posts)
MuckyTonsils Thu 02-May-13 08:28:57

Lately I find myself wondering if there is someone out there more suited to me than DP. DP is constantly moaning, constantly stressing out and worrying about nothing. Won't talk to me, just bottles stuff up and then explodes at me during an argument (although he's not violent). He is constantly whinging about past events - so many "ishoos" about his past, his divorce, his kids - it's constant. He's always feeling "ill" or "crap" - I get so tired of it. Aside from this, he never wants to marry again which has left a bitter taste in my mouth as I've never been married and always wanted to eventually - but I was prepared to let it go but it's rare I even get any affection off him. Sex life is shit too. Ok we have a laugh and on the surface we're "good together" but I can't help wondering if there is someone out there who WOULD fancy me enough to have sex with me!! someone out there who WOULD want to marry me - someone out there who can have a conversation without turning it into a "woe is me, I have so many issues, I'm so complicated ---- fest"

Walkacrossthesand Thu 02-May-13 08:31:14

Doesn't sound like he's the one for you, m'dear. How long have you been together?

TheOrchardKeeper Thu 02-May-13 08:37:00

I can't help wondering if there is someone out there who WOULD fancy me enough to have sex with me

Um, of course there is! I take it your sex life isn't great/existent then?

And he sounds like one of those people who can't own their issues. Their issues own them hmm

(Ok, we all moan sometimes & can be a bit victimy but it's not healthy to do it all the time & it turns that person into an emotional vampire, sucking the life out of people around them).

Harsh but true...

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 02-May-13 08:41:25

Never mind if there is someone else out there, this one clearly isn't right for you. Get shot of Mr Joy Sucker, enjoy some freedom and independence, get your confidence back, then see how you feel about sharing your life with someone more suitable.

Ragwort Thu 02-May-13 08:45:10

The best advice I ever received was to be comfortable with yourself and not to feel that you 'need' a partner in your life.

This man doesn't sound right for you, you don't seem happy in the relationship. Leave him and enjoy your own company, you may or may not meet someone else, but you alone are responbsible for your own happiness, no one else can provide it for you and it's certainly not worth putting up with 'second best' just for the sake of having a partner in your life. smile

Jux Thu 02-May-13 09:32:36

Er, yes, there is. Get out there and find him. Your current situation is a waste of time.

Squitten Thu 02-May-13 09:40:35

Oh OP.

Why do you do it, eh? Why stay with this man when he doesn't seem to make you very happy at all?

Just dump him and move on!

SundaysGirl Thu 02-May-13 09:42:22

That thing about 'Better the devil you know' really isn't true. smile

You'll be surprised how quickly the fun and joy comes back into your life when you are not having it sucked out of you by someone!

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 02-May-13 09:43:34

What do you get out of this relationship now?. What on earth has kept you within this?. Why on earth are you together at all now?.

Are you really that "good together" on the surface or are you just kidding yourself?.

Look at what you have written about him:-
He won't talk to you
He bottles stuff up and explodes during an argument.
Whinges constantly about past events; his divorce, his issues, kids
feels ill or crap all the time
does not ever want to marry again
crap sex life

And you are with him still because (you think your love can rescue and or save him?).

He's a sucker of joy; he actively enjoys being miserable and enjoys seeing your discomfort.

ladyjadie Thu 02-May-13 09:58:19

It doesn't sound like it's going to get better. Let him go, let yourself be free of this or it will spiral downwards until you feel so crap about yourself that you will start to believe this is the best it gets.

Of course it will be horrible (that is so easy to say)

But you do deserve the chance to be free to meet someone who you are happy with on all levels. Don't sell yourself short.

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