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how much does your dp do wrt childcare, housework, gardening, shopping etc(22 Posts)
My Dh seems to think he does more than most blokes (or so they've told him)
I just wanted to see how hard done by or how lucky Dh is , so how much does your other half do?
He does whatever I tell him.
Not in a bad way. More like that he just doesnt see that things need done so I tell him stuff to do and he does it. He will occasionally do things he has noticed, but its rare.
He works evenings/nights and I am looking for day jobs so he will be doing the majority of childcare once I find a job. As it is now the childcare is pretty even when he is here.
Don't want to brag but my dh does all the housework and cooking. He also does all the DIY and gardening. I do fractionally more childcare than him and some of the laundry. We both work full time but he finishes earlier than me so collects the kids and has dinner ready for me when I get home.
I'm aware that I'm very lucky and do feel slightly lazy when he's hoovering and I'm pissing about on the laptop.
I breast feed DS, order food online, plan our days off and run with our dog. DH does everything else.
Mine does all the laundry, except for the cloth nappies although he does know the routine for those too.
He does a lot of cooking and empties the dishwasher
He does the major grocery shop each weekend and he takes 16 month old DS with him, whilst I have a long hot bath
He looks after DS whilst I go out for appointments - hair, dentist etc.
He works Mon-Fri and with his commute is out of the house for 12 hours a day, 5am to 5pm.
Childcare- More than half. Mainly taxi-ing and playing footie these days.
Gardening- 99%. I choose the plants, play with the vegetable garden app to plan and buy seeds, then can't find my wellies and he had to do it all. And it gets hot here so usually by mid June I am flopped on the sofa till September moaning quietly. I do occasionally mow the lawn, but DH doesn't like the fact my shoes make spike holes everywhere. Personally I think that is aeration, but there is no pleasing some people with offers of two jobs done for the price of one.
Shopping- I do the big shops, maybe once a month ish. He does all the in between "oh crap I forgot to get black bags!", "I need foil! Where is my foil!! Somebody has stolen my foil!!"" and stuff like milk, fresh fruit and veg etc.
Housework - It has taken 18 years of being blunt and immovable (plus some shouting) about it not being exclusively my mess/dust/laundry etc to get past the training the PILs gave him (ie, the bepenised might as well chop their willy off if they do "women's work"). He does the jobs I hate mainly. Like collecting washing up from other downstairs rooms. And finding, bringing down, sorting, hanging and putting away the washing. Plus all things to do with the disposal of rubbish and finding my broom (which like my foil keeps walking off), and dealing with all the hardpaved areas outside.
DS does washing maching, dishwasher, living room tidy/hoover/mop and his bedroom. I do the rest. for now. DS is getting a bathroom soon. Damned if any future partner of his is going to have to struggle for years like I had to in order to get past the idea that "boys don't clean house".
DP does more childcare than me because of shift work, so works f/t and looks after toddler more than I do. He does all the cooking, about 3/4 of the shopping, and all the gardening. Does at least half the washing up. Does all the finances and makes sure we are on the right tarrifs etc.
I do about 90% of the cleaning, all the washing, and do most of the organising for DD's life (packed lunches, clothes getting ready and that).
I think it works out about even, though the cleaning seems so oppressive sometimes I tend to feel as though he's not pulling his weight, but he really is.
How much does your DH do?
Childcare - hardly any, but they're old enough to look after themselves mostly. Of the care they do need I do 95%.
Housework - none.
Gardening - about the same as me.
Shopping - hardly ever.
Cooking - can count the number of times in 20 years on one hand.
Pet care - hardly any.
Laundry - none.
But he works full time and I work just a few hours a week from home. He also does all the DIY and vehicle stuff. On the whole I'm sat on my bum more hours a week than he is, just don't tell him I said that.
I do all the cooking and food ordering. DH does most of the washing up, the laundry, changing kids beds, emptying bins, all DIY and most gardening grunt jobs (mowing lawns etc). Plus he does all the paperwork, paying bills, sorting insurance, phones etc. We split everything else; I do 'maintenance' cleaning as and when and he does 'deep' cleaning - so I wipe round the sinks and he does a full bathroom clean. He also does jobs I hate - downstairs loo where the cat's food is and cleaning the shower. Childcare is evenly split - he does clubs - swimming/football. We cover for each other when unwell etc.
We both work full time so we have to share.
All the cooking, plus household repairs, etc, keeping the computers going.
I have a cleaner who cleans. I iron, we tend to shop together. DCS grown up now, but I did the lions share as I did not work - by choice.
Well, he works long hours during the week as a rule so not much Mon-Fri. If he is home in the evenings, he will often cook but that's about it. I'm a SAHM so do all the cleaning, laundry, etc. He also does take both kids to their swimming lesson and tries to take the eldest on a bike thing but can't always.
On weekends he will generally do some stuff with the kids, e.g. park, museum, to his Mums, etc, so I can study. He looks after the garden, does DIY and will generally cook and bake on weekends as well as helping with other chores as needed.
I'm a SAHM, DP works 6-6 5 days a week.
Childcare - me when DPs at work 50/50 when he's not, we split the clubs
Housework - majority me during the weeks at weekends 50/50
Shopping - me
Gardening - i potter he cuts the grass
Washing - me, I'm a bit anal about it though, he irons his own clothes though
Oh works 12/13hr days 6 days a week so that gets him out of everything.
Childcare, none on his own but joint on a Sunday
Housework, sometimes clear the table
Cooking, once every 3 months or so
Shopping, as above
DH works full time and longish hours, I am on maternity leave at the moment but prior to that was working full time also.
We have a 3 year old and a 12 week old.
I do all the food shopping (unless I ask DH to do it, but generally I like to do it as then I can buy all the things I like ); I do all laundry and ironing; I do 90% of the cleaning.
DH does most of the cooking, before I finished for mat leave he did pretty much all of it but now I'm at home more I do a bit. If I cook dinner, he does bath time. I am breastfeeding a bottle-refuser so I do all the baby feeding and night feeds, DH co-sleeps with DD1 as she is a poor sleeper and this means I am only woken by the baby at night (I'm in a separate room with her).
DH does most of the childcare for DD1 when he's at home, by choice as he wants to see her obviously. We do stuff as a family at weekends.
DH does all the cat care and all gardening/DIY and organises all the finances etc.
Ffs, just typed a long post out on my phone of what I do and he does, pressed something accidently and its disappeared, her (i'm on my crap phone)
Will type it out tomorrow when I've got access to a computer.
Thanks for all your replies so far. I think he's got things easy, judging by these responses.
DH gets up with ds2 every morning. He usually puts him to bed (but doesn't do the bath).
He washes up every evening. Puts the bins out each week (but doesn't always empty the wastepaper bins around the house.)
He does everything financial.
And he mows the lawn and digs up weeds sometimes.
That's about it, really. He'll do stuff if I ask and am very specific (otherwise lots of questions) but am still training him not to say 'for you' after he comes to tell me what he's done. (Like yesterday morning, when I asked him to do ds2's packed lunch- he came and said 'I've done ds2's packed lunch for you.' I pointed out that it was for our son, not for me. Work in progress.)
He cooks a curry once every three months or so and that is the extent of his cooking.
I do everything else.
Childcare - none
Housework - vaccum as apparently I don't do it right.
Gardening - none
Shopping - he often goes with out me...buys tons of crap. I go when he's not around and buy what we really need.
Cooking - never
Pet care - never
Vehicle maintenance: none
Home repairs: very little, as he does a crappy job
Laundry - his own. I refuse to do his anymore, as he steps over my dirty clothes and puts 2 things of his in the washer. Like...why the heck not fill it with the clothes your stepping on!!!
I'm envious of all you who have a such an amazing helping partner!
Child care - he works shifts so normally looks after DS 2 days a week and we share nursery drop off/ pick up the other 3 days. I do the 2 days at the weekend but on his weekend off we share the load. DD is a teenager at high school and old enough to take care of her herself but we share the taxi-ing around.
Shopping - he does the big shop, I do the crappy small bits mainly
Cooking - shared. He makes nicer meals though.
Housework - again we share depending who's at home. We both know how to work the Hoover/ washing machine / tumble drier. I do most ironing, he cleans the bathroom more. He's a lot tidier/ cleaner than me!
Gardening - he does it all. I sometimes cut the grass but am banned from weeding as can't tell the difference between a weed and a plant! We buy plants together though.
Decorating - him again
I do most of the organising / arranging stuff and money things though again he'll deal with things like insurance as can phone them in the day.
To be honest writing it down makes me realise he's a bloody saint!
P.s I better point out I work mon-Friday 0800-1700 so that's why we try and do 50/50, we work similar hours so household is a shared responsibility.
Dp does pretty much everything.
I put clothes away, do the shopping, change ours and the dcs beds, tidy dcs room and put ds toys away downstairs. I also pick dd up from school 3 days a week and do all appointments with the dc.
I will sometimes hang washing up/do the dishwasher/hoover.
I'm nearly 6 months pregnant and feel like death most days but even when not expecting i'm pretty damn lazy.
I'm very lucky with dp he very rarely moans.
on occasion dp again decorates and deals with the garden he deserves a fecking medal
DH does loads!
Half of cooking, laundry, most vacuuming
All gardening and bins
Brings me breakfast in bed every day
Handles all bills
Does about 70% of childcare when he's not at work (I'm on mat leave)
I do most of the shopping and life organising... And feeding DS because I'm the one with the boobs
I'm very lucky!
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