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Why can't I stop thinking of other men?

(35 Posts)
DontGiveUpOnHope Tue 30-Apr-13 19:40:42

My and my partner have been together for a year and a half, I really do love him! We've been through a stillbirth and he has lied several times.

He is my first serious relationship and he was the first and only person I have slept with. The past week I can't stop thinking of other men!! It's driving me insane and some aren't veh that attractive! He's slept with over 30 people in his passed and when we first got together he said he was scared I would leave to get more experience.. I never thought I will because I feel fir him straight away!

Please help, will it go away..

Lueji Wed 01-May-13 15:05:16

You are not even 20.
You are in college.

At this time, you should be concentrating on your studies, having light and fun filled relationships with fellow students.
Not putting up with this crap.

How much older is he? 5, 10 years? More?

And what AF said.

whosshe Wed 01-May-13 15:23:22

Reminds me of a relationship I had when I was a bit older than you, and I wish someone had told me to leave the bloke sooner.

I stuck around while he drained all the money, life and confidence out of me. He had no respect for me and was just using me. Things got a lot worse before I left. I should have left earlier.

Please listen to what people are saying, it's all good advice and you deserve better.

DontGiveUpOnHope Wed 01-May-13 19:07:25

Thank you all, I know you mean well. I've told him we are better of without each other and he still insists we talk tomorrow, telling me he want to spend the rest of his life with me and I'm the only girl for him.

He's five year older.

Lweji Wed 01-May-13 19:19:47

He may well mean it, but is he the man for you?
That's the issue.

He has a nice set up. Of course he doesn't want to give you up.

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 19:43:07

it doesn't matter whether he thinks "you are the only girl for him"

of course he will say that, to keep the status quo which suits him down to the ground

he can game with his bro's, give you a cursory crumb from his table every so often, sit on his backside while you count down your 20's

the true question is are you willing to settle for him being the best you can get

clue: the answer should be a resounding no, and then act accordingly

you won't though, will you, love ?

you will throw away a few more years yet, maybe get pregnant again and fuck up your studies good'n'proper, keep trying to make it "last" because you think you have already got all this stuff on the "clock"

you are throwing good money after bad, love...if this bloke was a clapped out banger of a car you would scrap it and start again....not keep spending more and more money from your emotional bank on something that very obviously isn't fit for the road

DontGiveUpOnHope Wed 01-May-13 20:24:34

For you woman who said I wouldn't do it, I have. I also told him I don't. Want to see him. I'm concentrating on myself for a while.

AnyFucker Wed 01-May-13 21:28:10

a "while" ?

what is your long term plan, love ?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 01-May-13 21:30:01

Well done for ditching him. Make sure you fill your days with people that like you and things to keep you busy. That'll help you resist the temptation to start sending him texts etc because you're lonely or upset. Stay strong.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 01-May-13 21:38:19

"he's a bit crap, isn't he?"

"your subconscious is telling you that you can do better than this turnip,"

AF, brilliant!

OP, leaving him was a good plan. Stick at it, one day after another, and soon you won't even think about going back as life will be loads better.

Lweji Wed 01-May-13 21:44:47

Good on you. smile

But do put as much distance between you and him as possible.

Cut contact, delete phone numbers.

Look ahead, not behind you. smile

At some point he'll be a distant memory.

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