Just wondered if this ever happened to anyone. Me and OM mutually split a while back (though I cared deeply for him but he is married with children). Then he calls to say he wants to talk to his wife and wants to reveal all/separate etc. At that point I think it hit me - I could never trust him/would not want to inflict any hurt on wife/children/he is selfish/self obsessed/boring. I have told him not to be so ridiculous and to pull out all the stops to save his marriage since he has children. Up until now I thought I would be ecstatic if he left his wife but this has been a MASS reality check. Glad I had the wake up call, but really hoping he doesn't carry out his plan and I end up lumbered with OM.
Ethical dilemmas aside i would guess he just fancies a roll on his side plate again and has no intention of scraping his dinner into the bin. You're right. . Sure he's an untrustworthy Bastard probably just telling you what he thinks you want to hear to get you back.
Thanks spirited - you're probably right. Any sorry everyone else - it wasn't my intention to come across so badly. I really am trying to process the guilt any way I can. If I could turn back time, I obviously would.
"I feel that infidelity is not the cut and dried selfish sleaze-fest you imagine - way more complex i'm afraid."
OK. there's me with my stupid little post-grad brain, totally unable to understand why YOU and HE were SO different to every other sordid little shag on the side, which other people REALLY didn't understand.
Trust me. Women on this board have written the fucking BOOK on infidelity - those who have done it, those who have suffered.
It really IS that cut and dried. You DON'T FUCK ANOTHER PERSON'S PARTNER UNTIL THEY ARE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
Capitals to help the weak-brained out there... alright?
Please. You have NO fucking idea how insulting you are to women - and men - on this board who have been through the wringer because of OM/OW. (You're the OW, btw.)
Don't come on here whining that you're a bit different.
I think it really depends on what u call a mistake. Falling into bed with another woman's husband isn't just a mistake by any stretch of the imagination. Speaking from experience i would say you deserve each other. So lets hope he does leave his wife and turn up on your door step. You can then live with the reality that one day he will shag around on you whilst his lovely wife will have chance to meet someone who she really deserves and not be living with a snake in the grass!!!