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Is he really just out running?

19 replies

orangedigger · 29/04/2013 19:04

Ok, this is my first post and I would like your opinions really.

I have been with my partner for two years, I knew him as a friend for two years before that but I was in a relationship that was abusive and I was cheated on. I am fairly wealthy, have my own home and grown up children, he is divorced with small children who stay with us every other weekend plus weekdays.

He does not very much and doesn't contribute really financially to the household although he does loads of practical thingsthat would cost us a lot iyswim.

I love him a lot and until a couple of months ago we were very much in love.

My youngest daughter lives here atm but will leave home at some point in the near future. She is a lovely but quite intense girl and has had a go at my DP a couple of times in the last few months.

He has changed towards me blaming her and the atmosphere at home although she tries to aplogise and he just stonewalls her.

The atmosphere at home now is horrible and he has said that if she doesn't go he will which she doesn't deserve. I have said that it isn't reasonable to be so down on me because of the relationship between them; I do get angy with her and he knows this and I do try to ask him to see that she is a stroppy 20 year old and it isn't personal, but he doesn't accept it.

He has also taken up running and changed his habits recently; for example we no longer go together into a certain area of towm, he has lost weight and will not put off his running dates for anything.

My gut feeling says he either is attracted to or wants to be with someone else and everything else is an excuse. For him to leave would be hard as he is reliant on me financially and his children love it here.

I have no access to his phone or anything else and he has already accused me of spying on him even though I really hadn't left the house.

Sorry for this to be so long but I miss the man I fell in love with and feel our days are numbered but just want to check that it is not my paranoia having been cheated on in the past.

Thank you for reading

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/04/2013 19:31

Well whether he's cheating on you or wants to cheat on you isn't really the issue, I think. If you believe that he's with you for financial reasons then he needs to leave. You have an imbalance in your relationship and that will never change whilst you feel the way you do - and believe that he feels the way he does.

As for your stroppy 20 year old; she has no excuse for her behaviour, she's not a young girl, she's an adult. It is more her home than his though and his children liking your home is no reason to keep him.

Read back your post and remove yourself from the situation; what would you advise a friend to do in this scenario? My advice to you would be that he moves out to his own place and you see how you feel then. If he wants to be with you he will make the effort to still see you. If not, you have your answer but don't financially prop up a partner who has no investment in your relationship or in you.