Met BF Mum.....yikes

[SarahGoodwin33]

Hi All
For those who aren't familiar with my soap opera life, check out my other posts.....!
Anyways been seeing a lovely guy for a few weeks (yes I know early days) and am slowing getting to know him and meet some of his family. Done the siblings which turned out to be great (his Sis and I are txting each other) and at the weekend I met his Mum.
She is 67 but looks about 50 and is an active rambler/walker.....not my area of expertise it has to be said but she seems really nice. Very straight laced and you can tell that she was quite strict in the way she brought up her children. We had lunch and everthing was very formal.
My bf said that he had told her about me being a ts as he feels he has nothing to hide, and anyway as far as he is concerned I am a woman and always have been (aww so sweet).
I had no idea what I should wear so opted for Navy Boden skirt with red flowers, and red cardi. Chiffon scarf and navy semi opaques and brown boots.
FIrst thing she said when we arrived was that she had seen the scarf in white stuff and liked it, great I thought I am wearing the clothes of pensioner...:-) But when I looked at her outfit I could tell she was quite a yound dresser but nice with it if that makes sense. Think per una/hobbs.
She has been given the talk by her son about not grilling me (apparently she does it with everyone, even the postman....). I was glad as I was a little nervous about filling the gaps in my colourful life! She made a couple of comments about how she loved something as a little girl and then said to me, weren't you like that? I wasn't sure if that was a dig or she was trying to make me feel comfortable!
After lunch we went for a walk to the local park and we met one of her neighbours and she introduced me as her sons girlfriend which felt nice. Silly I know but little things like that are heart warming for me.
We had coffee later on and Neil and I cuddled up on the settee and she was really sweet and said she was going to phone her sister and too let us have some time alone..!
I have written her a thank you card and am posting it today, Neil says it'll be a first that anyone has done that so she'll be touched.
All in all I feel as if this could be a really good thing and just hope it continues.
Anyway better do some work, the boss has already walked passed twice and I have had to swap screens to show a spreadsheet....!

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

Hi Sarah, I don't know your story or other posts but that sounds like such a positive experience . I'm very pleased for you. Neil sounds lovely. Enjoy

[lazarusb]

I'm glad it went well. Re:the comment about when you were a little girl - perhaps it's as simple as her seeing you as the woman you are? My Dad is TS and his partner only sees her as a woman, simply because he has only known her as a woman. I hope your relationship continues along such positive lines

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Awww, that all sounds lovely. So glad it went so well for you.

[AlfalfaMum]

He must be absolutely crazy about you :)

I agree that the question about when you were little sounds a lot like acceptance, or open curiosity about what you were like as a child?

[lottiegarbanzo]

Weren't you a little girl in your head to some extent? So you might not have done all the typical girl things but might have observed and liked things like / as a girl. Isn't that perhaps what was meant? Just acknowledging you've always been the same person?

[Cailinsalach]

Oh brilliant Sarah. I was wondering how you were getting on meeting his family. What are your plans now? Holiday together? (Er you and Neil not you and his Mum)

[roofio87]

one of my friends is ts and my mum is always going too far to show she is accepting making comments just like that or saying "what are we girls like eh?!" about a hundred times a minute. but its just her way of over compensating in a situation she finds slightly awkward but wants my friend to feel comfortable. we all know she isn't being malicious. its probably the same for your bf's mum especially if she was generally nice to you otherwise!! sounds like you're on to a great thing there

[SarahGoodwin33]

Thank you so much for your kind comments. Yes I agree I think the comment was more acceptance than anything else, mind you even if its open curiosity I don't mind.
Totally relate to your mums over reaction roofio, I get that I'm various ways from some people and just think its sweet. It's not their fault that they've been put in the situation of meetng a ts and not immediately an expert in how to relate to us.
Sometimes the girls at work might go out of their way to comment on something I am wearing and say its sooo pretty or joke about time of the month and say to me you know how it's hun! I actually like it and find it flattering is some ways.
Back to the future mother in law (joke....:-)) she went out of her way to talk about things girly and whilst helping her to clear up she mentioned undies in m&s and how they are really 'snazzy' (her word) and that I should take a look!
Mmmm holidays, now that's a thought....

[Cailinsalach]

You seem really into your style. I would love to have more flair, pzaz or ability to dress better.

I always end up wearing black. Unless its beige. Sometimes I go mad and do a combi black/beige thing. Im mad, me. Black and beige!

[lazarusb]

I think it's really nice that she's talking to you like that. She obviously loves her son a lot too. May your happiness continue

[Bitofadviceplease]

What's TS? x

[fromparistoberlin]

I think its transexual

OP good luck to you, I can imagine its NOT been easy

be happy x

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

Yes, transsexual

I agree with others, Sarah that the 'little girl' comments were acceptance. She saw you as a woman, who as a child was a little girl

[SarahGoodwin33]

Omg! Boyfriend sprung on me tonight that his mum has invited me to go shopping with her as she wants some holiday clothes! Both happy and nervous at same time!
Here we go again, what the hell to wear!
Oh and sorry for the late post but bf is here tonight.......ahem:-)

[Eastpoint]

How lovely that your lunch went so well.

[SarahGoodwin33]

Thanks Eastpoint, lets hope its the start of a lovely mother in law-daughter in law relationship...

[lazarusb]

That's fantastic! Tbh, I've always thought my Dad had a good eye for women's clothes and always took his opinion over everyone else's. (Obvious now!). She clearly likes the way you dress and wants your input. Plus a bit of girly bonding over lunch Maybe she looks on you as the daughter she always wanted?

[KittyAndTheFontanelles]

I think she's already got a daughter, Lazarus

That's great news, Sarah When are you going?

[lazarusb]

Sorry - didn't realise! Well, I've got a dd and an extra one wouldn't go amiss so perhaps she feels the same way!

[Bitofadviceplease]

That's good she's asked you to go shopping :-) x

[SarahGoodwin33]

lol, you are funny. Going 2 weeks Saturday and yes am quite looking forward to it now the initial nerves have gone. Girly lunch sounds great.
Just hope she doesn't pick out anything too awful as I am not very good at lying...!

[Cailinsalach]

If you dont like it perhaps you could say that it doesnt bring out the colour of her eyes.

(Make sure you say eyes not nose. )