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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How would you react to this?

70 replies

atosilis · 28/04/2013 19:49

I travelled for an hour to look after my beautiful grandbaby while her parents were unpacking after a move.

I left at 11.15 in the morning and got home at 7.15 this evening.

Sat down with a sandwich and changed the channel on the TV. OH went mad.

OP posts:

Report

UnChartered · 28/04/2013 19:50

i'd give him one of these

but tbf, did you ask if he was in the middle of watching a programme or not?

thenightsky · 28/04/2013 19:52

You can't just walk in and change channels when someone is watching the telly!

atosilis · 28/04/2013 19:53

Yes, I asked it I could possibly watch something I wanted to watch. He said Yes but I changed it to something he did not want to watch, so he went mad. He has been watching his choice of tv for 8 hours.

OP posts:

Dahlen · 28/04/2013 19:55

Well if he was in the middle of watching something, you were very rude.

But there is no need for anyone to go 'mad' over something as trivial as that - a simple "Hey, I was watching that, turn it back over please" would have sufficed.

UnChartered · 28/04/2013 19:55

can you explain what you mean by 'went mad'?

i can be pretty vociferous about certain TV progs

atosilis · 28/04/2013 19:55

I think I'm cross that I would like to sit down at the end of the day and watch something to relax without being shouted at.

OP posts:

Dahlen · 28/04/2013 19:56

Well in that case he's being a bit of an idiot. If he was happy for you to change channels, he doesn't get to dictate to which one.

kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 19:56

The fact that you've been out all day and what you were doing is irrelevant.

If he said you could change the channel, then got cross at you for doing so means he is a twat!

HorribleHaircut · 28/04/2013 19:56

So he said yes you could change the channel and when you did, he went nuts because it was something he didn't want to watch?

What did he actually do?

atosilis · 28/04/2013 19:57

I did ask to watch something else. I changed the channel. The channel was not to his taste. He shouted.

Therefore, I can only change the channel to something he wants to watch.

Therefore, I haven't really had any choice.

That's why I'm cross.

OP posts:

Smartiepants79 · 28/04/2013 19:58

If you asked first and he said it was ok then it is a bit of an odd reaction.
However, my DH often comes along and messes with the channels when I'm in the middle of watching something. He doesn't ask and it drives me nuts!
If I did I to him I'd get short shrift.

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:00

I hate that too, which is why I politely asked.

OP posts:

Pozzled · 28/04/2013 20:01

What do you mean by 'went mad'? Big difference between having a small rant about the programme and shouting at you/insulting you etc. My DH might do the former, but only in a half jokey way. The latter is an awful way to behave. How is he usually?

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:03

Sorry, in my hurry to be brief I'm not giving the full details.

I'm going to keep very calm and understand how difficult it is if you have been lying down for 8 hours, watching TV, and then someone comes and selects something you don't want to watch. Totally selfish behaviour.

OP posts:

HorribleHaircut · 28/04/2013 20:03

Did he say OH GOD NOT THIS SHITE in which case he may or may not be unreasonable, depending on what you wanted to watch.

OR

did he say YOU BLARDY COWBAG I HATE YOU YOU ONLY WATCH SHIT YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU

???

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:08

Just shouted very loudly. I will leave here and thank you for your responses. I am very, very cross. He could have come with me and had a nice day out with lovely grandbaby as opposed to shouting at me.

OP posts:

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:12

Do you think it is fair to stay at home all day, channel surf and sleep while your wife is helping your daughter and then shout at her, when she comes home tired because she is daring to watch a programme which is not of your taste?

OP posts:

Lueji · 28/04/2013 20:13

Not good at all.
He shouted while sitting next to you?
What has he actually said?

How is he otherwise?

Pozzled · 28/04/2013 20:15

Do you mean that you're going to leave the thread? I'm not sure I understand.

No one should be shouting at someone they're in a relationship with IMO, and certainly not over something as trivial as a TV channel.

Your title asked how we would react. If this was out of character, I'd be asking what was wrong. I'd assume that my DH was stressed/seriously worried about something. If this was happening regularly, I'd be considering whether this was a relationship I wanted to stay in.

Twattergy · 28/04/2013 20:18

You are clearly angry at the fact that he didn't chose to come with you to the grand child...have a go at him about that, not the TV.

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:18

He rules the TV, he does not leave the house, he earns more than me just lying on his back. His pension is more than my salary. I am second place.

I'm going to go upstairs and watch stuff on the bedroom tv. I just want to sit on the sofa, in comfort, and chill.

His loss. Grandbaby was thrilled to see me and we had a lovely walk. TV or Grandbaby? On balance, his loss.

OP posts:

Pozzled · 28/04/2013 20:27

This isn't really about the TV, is it? I mean I can see that his behaviour was bloody infuriating, but there's a lot more to it. You don't sound as though you like or respect him at all, let alone love him. Why are you with him? What are his good points?

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HorribleHaircut · 28/04/2013 20:40

So you said Can I change the channel?
He said Yes.
You changed the channel.
He went GAAAAARRRAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGUGHGH

Clearly you are pissed off at him for more than this. I still wonder exactly what he said when he shouted.

This all sounds very odd.

ImperialBlether · 28/04/2013 20:46

He's not a nice bloke, is he, OP? He sounds selfish and entitled and lazy, to be honest. I don't suppose he'd made you dinner, either, had he?

He would've been some use today, wouldn't he, if he'd come with you? So he'd let you struggle, didn't help his daughter/grandchild and then complained when you changed channel.

It might be time for a break from this man. Visualise it - does it seem lovely to think of being without him?

atosilis · 28/04/2013 20:52

He is older than his years. He is not nasty, he is somehow turning into his dad.

He is lovely with grandbaby, he does have lots of love. I always see him as some sort of Italian Mafia head.

OP posts:

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