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How do I get out in the world again at 52 after years of looking after everyone else?

(16 Posts)
sylviawallowby Sat 27-Apr-13 08:25:37

After many years of caring for everyone else, I now find myself free at 52 to have a life of my own.....but I don't actually know what to do <<pathetic face emoticom>>

I'm planning to smarten myself up - new make up etc - and join some community groups. But I'm not ready to be 'old' and find I don't easily fit into some of the various groups around - they seem to be for people in their 20s or 30s, for those with DCs, or for pensioners.

I'd like a relationship in the fullness of time, but don't feel inclined to do OD as don't think my skin is thick enough yet. I'd just like to make some friends (as don't have many at the moment), male and female, and just have some fun and nice times and get out more.

Sorry this is sounding as though I'm more weak and feeble than I am.

Suppose I'm asking how I get back out into the world again smile

Lizzabadger Sat 27-Apr-13 08:34:14

Exercise classes, book groups, gardening clubs, choirs, local history groups, ramblers, zumba, evening classes... Whatever floats your boat.

Round here they are very mixed age groups, e.g. The fitness classes have 20-somethings up to 80-year olds with most people in their 40s or 50s.

I wouldn't rush to get into a relationship. You will probably find you can have a nice time if you just get out there and get involved in local life.

arthriticfingers Sat 27-Apr-13 08:36:03

Just thought I would join you.
In exactly the same boat: 52 - feak and weeble grin etc. - so cadging a ride, and offering moral support if not advice smile

hairclipcloe Sat 27-Apr-13 08:36:34

Is there a college in your area? Have you thought about doing a course in something? That's what I have done. You meet people of all ages and backgrounds and all have a common focus. the great thing is that you make friends and get something at the end, a new skill or hobby or qualification and its all for you! Just do something you enjoy.

HidingFromDD Sat 27-Apr-13 08:42:44

meetup.com. They have loads of different groups and it's a great way to meet people with the same interests. There's a lot in the same situation (despite the name, it's NOT a dating site)

purplewithred Sat 27-Apr-13 08:48:55

Do a course in something you have always wanted to do, however bizarre, and volunteer to do something using a skill you already have. WI, Lions, Rotary Club are all run by brilliant locals of your (and my) age and always delighted to meet new people. You may find there is a volunteering service locally who can match you up to volunteering opportunities.

You're in your prime now - wise, experienced, physically able, unfettered. Welcome to the gang.

BicBiro Sat 27-Apr-13 08:53:50

what would you like to do? what do you enjoy?

sylviawallowby Sat 27-Apr-13 09:15:27

I like being outdoors, doing things - not necessarily sports or walking - just being outside, doing stuff.

I'm quite good at admin but don't want to volunteer for office work as I've spent too many years doing that and want some fun, not meaning to imply office workers aren't fun <<not wishing to cause offence emoticom>>. What's fun and puts me in touch with nice people??

ohtobecleo Sat 27-Apr-13 09:16:05

are you near a city? Citysocializer.com has all sorts of social events for every age group and taste (including walks/cinema/theatre/book clubs/live music etc). Similar to meetup. Not a dating site at all.

dothraki Sat 27-Apr-13 09:18:53

Walking group ? If (you are lucky enough to still have one) you go to your local library they will have lots of things advertised. You could also try mumsnet local - and go to a meet-up.

dothraki Sat 27-Apr-13 09:20:04

x-postedblush

sylviawallowby Sat 27-Apr-13 09:24:22

dothraki

I don't mind walking smile

YoniConnect Sat 27-Apr-13 09:27:27

Scouts / guides? always looking for volunteers!

springyhappychick Sat 27-Apr-13 09:47:36

I don't think you're weak and pathetic at all! Well, if you are, then I am. Same boat.

I think if other people have been your/our focus for ever, it is challenging to shift entirely. I always said I'd travel once I was unfettered, yet here I still am not even sure which way to go when I step out my front door confused

I feel like bambi, trying out new legs. I'm thinking of teaching english as a foreign language, which should get me out there. I'm volunteering with the homeless at the mo, which I love. If you do what you love you'll meet other people who are doing what they love, so you'll have that in common.

I think it takes a while to negotiate an entire life shift, so go easy.

Pilgit Sat 27-Apr-13 10:37:46

my mum was in this position after my dad left her for a younger women at the age of 55. She, did a degree, learns Italian, joined a quilting/stitching class, joined a book group, joined a local lunch club (they are mostly in the 70's and she isn't, but don't dismiss any age group as being out of reach) she also signed up to the university of the third age.

sylviawallowby Sat 27-Apr-13 14:51:27

Its so comforting to know there are others of you out there in a similar position to me. Its easy to start thinking you're the only one - suppose that applies to most people who find themselves in 'difficult' situations.

flowers for us all.

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