Dp is 23, I am 28, been together on and off for 4/5 years and we now have ds 14months.
There have been issues throughout the relationship (I was seeing other people at the very beginning, he thought we were exclusive, I've caught him texting other women, porn etc) and so there were trust problems and also control and aggression from him (which he probably thought was justified).
Anyway, fast forward a few years and we have ds, who is very much loved and wanted. I had a traumatic birth (15 days overdue, very fast reaction to induction, shoulder distocia, back to back labour) and pretty quickly developed pnd, although I feel I was probably depressed during pregnancy too. Dp decides 10 weeks in, that I'm making his life hell, he doesn't love me anymore and decides to leave. After a month or so and me seeing a doctor, he agrees to move back in. We made a huge effort and things seemed better.
Now, a year down the line, it's all falling apart again. We haven't slept together in 8 months (I'm not attracted to him if I'm honest), he works ft but barely lifts a finger around the house, I work 16 hours a week, just been promoted, so that goes up to 20hours soon and I'll still be left with the housework, managing bills and money etc. No trust or control issues anymore. Just total indifference. We never talk, we have separate groups of friends and social lives, his evenings seem to revolve around watching and playing football at the moment, but I'm glad to have him out the house if I'm honest.
There is a complete lack of interest and support from him, he never asks how I'm getting on at work, didn't seem interested in my promotion. And the final niggle was when, couple of weeks ago, my stepdad had a health issue, meaning my mum had to temp cut down on Childcare duties. Rather than support me, he was more worried about how it might affect his football schedule. I can't rely on him for mental or emotional support at all.
The one positive is that he's a great, involved dad. Loves ds to bits and is very hands on and engaged. It's just our relationship that feels dead. Not sure how long to go on like this. Sorry, bit rambly. Not even sure what I'm expecting to hear, just really down.
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Relationships
Tired and fed up (probably too long, apologies)
9 replies
Makingmistakes · 26/04/2013 19:30
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