My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating thread no 52

999 replies

BillMasen · 26/04/2013 15:11

The first one started by a bloke?

OP posts:
Report
OhWesternWind · 26/04/2013 15:16

The Rules

1 Develop a thick skin;

  1. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
  2. It's all BS until it actually happens;
  3. Trust your gut instinct;
  4. If it is not fun, stop
Report
mercury7 · 26/04/2013 15:43

Not sure if it is Bill, Bant may have started one?

Had a chance meeting with a 'missed opportunity' from a few years ago, I got the impression that we still both wouldBlush

weather or not we actually will is another matter :o

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 15:46

Before I start, I'm bound to miss things and people out here so sorry in advance.

48 Very sorry to hear about your mum. Is she catheterised at all ? That can be a huge culprit in UTIs. I'm very surprised that her carers aren't keeping her adequately hydrated, dehydration is a massive cause of increased confusion, and falls etc in older people . I hope you get it sorted, decent carers are essential.
Multiple awwwws at you and Mr R&R.

OWW see the Engineer, think of it as spread betting . It's the sensible thing to do.

Voice it's lovely to see you again. I don't think there is a single one of us who doesn't feel downhearted about it all from time to time, I know that the waves of misery overwhelm me on a regular basis but things will and do get better, there's proof of it on here. ( I'm refusing to acknowledge your Soreen dissing, you bloody heretic ) .

Juliette if Dutchy doesn't turn out to be fabulous, I shall hunt him down and stick a clog up his jacksie. Without KY.

Flipper I once donated blood at work and fainted, vair, vair embarrassing. I've examined colleagues - it's weird, freaks me out a bit, all the touching.

A friend of mine was once sat in the office at work ploughing through a load of admin, with a more senior colleague in the same office doing her own work, they were each bemoaning the amount of stuff they were expected to do. My friend, being keen to empathise, remarked (and she said later that she could hear herself going down this dreadful path but was unable to prevent the words tumbling out) to our more senior and lesbian colleague ' Oh I don't know how you do it, all your responsibilities, do you ever feel that's yet another hole in the dyke that you have to stick your finger into ?.

Report
KirstyWirsty · 26/04/2013 16:08

nora Grin

Marking my spot .. Have date with lovely funny considerate and dirrrty Kiltykilty on Sunday .. I even bought him a toothbrush today

juliette the Dutchman sounds great .. I love that you had a sore face from grinning

flipper I sent feedback on your POF .. You have a lovely smile

OWW meet the engineer .. What have you got to lose?

Report
spenceuk · 26/04/2013 16:12

hi everybody

I gave up on that smooch site, but gonna try again on one of the others. Someone from work has kind of made it known that she is interested in going out sometime but im a bit wary of getting involved with someone i work with.

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 16:17

Kirsty Kilty sounds marvellous, where did you find him ?

Spence seeing someone you work with can be tricky but I think it's doable as long as (a) neither of you is likely to be a fruit loop if it doesn't work out and (b) you're discreet, no-one likes constant lovesick mooning in the workplace.

Report
OhWesternWind · 26/04/2013 16:18

Nora that did make me laugh.

Well . . . guess the consensus is that I take a look at the engineer as well. Just feels a bit odd having two on the go at once. Might set something up with him for next week. I do quite like the look/sound of him - would have met him weeks ago if he hadn't done the disappearing thing. Not sure if that's worryingly flaky although I've done the same myself when I've got fed up of all the nonsense online.

Kirsty - hope he's great. You are very considerate with the toothbrush!

Wine hope your weekend goes briliantly too. Is he on the train yet?

Spence I would always steer away from getting involved with anyone at work. Too much potential for things to get very difficult in various ways. Bite the bullet and put yourself up on PoF. You're a big boy, you'll be fine Grin

Report
spenceuk · 26/04/2013 16:21

OWW i think it could get a bit tricky just incase things didnt work out. I dont think im ready for something long term I just want to enjoy dating and meeting new people.

I will have to get on POF, from my time on smooch i definitley seemed to attract ladies older than me and was asked lots of times for pics of a certain area.

Report
JulietteMontague · 26/04/2013 16:30

Spence I would avoid work at all costs, especially as you need to have a few 'fun' times. Definitely get on POF, if you can string a sentence together, you'll have 5 on the go by next week Grin

Kirsty Kilty does sound rather full of possibilities

Kin Brilliant, I had to hide from the screen when I read that Blush Grin

Report
spenceuk · 26/04/2013 16:41

well lets just hope youre right Juliette

I'm definitley at the point where i'm ready for some fun

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 16:58

Apparently it was 'awkward'. Makes me laugh every time I think of it though.

OWW having two on the go does feel strangely 'wrong' but I think it's a case of reminding yourself/oneself, that nobody's in an actual relationship yet, it's just a step up from messaging really, at least that's how I rationalised it, there's no commitment there.

In my scandalous youth, I did have several relationships with men working in the same hospital and one if we discount the Christmas party loo snogging incident in the same department, that was the only difficult situation, as we finished, he started seeing a colleague and I had their luuuuuurve rubbed in my face on a daily basis. Not great. they're divorced now

Report
smoothieooo · 26/04/2013 16:58

Hello all, I've been lurking for ages and have just about caught up with what most of you are doing. Some exciting times ahead for some of you!

I've had a regular Saturday night date for the past 6-7 weeks which has been fun (and definitely helped ease the pain of hearing about STB-ex's 23 year old g/f - who is exactly half my age). It's been pretty good and, as we share the same birthday, took a day off work and went to the Bowie exhibition at the V&A and had lunch a couple of weeks ago. But... other than the b'day date, that's all it is. A Saturday night date (with some texts and emails during the week). I can't go over to his neck of the woods as he's staying with his parents while he's house hunting and I can't always (and don't always want to) ship my DC out every Sat night and I feel I can't really talk to him about the more mundane stuff in my life. I have a bad case of the 'mehs' and have cancelled tomorrow's date (he was going to be staying in a hotel near me) feigning illness. It has not gone down well...

Sorry - not even sure why I'm posting but it helps to get it out!

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 17:04

Smoothie sometimes it helps to offload and sometimes writing things down clarifies your feelings, it's always worthwhile. Do you know why you feel 'meh' about him ?

Report
smoothieooo · 26/04/2013 17:11

Not sure Kin - if I were after a FWB arrangement it would be perfect and I think I'm holding back an awful lot. Bit of a red flag yesterday was me telling him about an argument I'd had with my son - delightful teenage strop which ended with "You're a bitch and I hope you burn in hell". His response was based on something his ex had said when he'd previously called her a bitch. Hmm

I wasn't particularly looking forward to tomorrow and the biggest indicator is the relief I feel about not having to wax, primp, pedicure etc prior to hotel shagathon session Grin

Report
MirandaWest · 26/04/2013 17:13

Marking my place. Am cooking risotto for Mr nice tonight. Am rubbish cook

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 17:22

Oh aye, I've had plenty of incidents like that with ds1, but I have a deep seated aversion to grown men calling women 'bitches', I can certainly understand why it would make you see blokey in a new light.

Miranda I'm a pretty good cook but I'm shite at risotto, didn't you fancy giving him something a bit more, you know, resistant to buggering up ?

Report
smoothieooo · 26/04/2013 17:26

Same here Miranda - am a fairly good cook i.e. I've made a fab chicken curry from scratch for friends tonight, plus mini lemon drizzle cakes but my risotto is usually a shite, stodgy affair which elicits a few polite forkfuls at best

Report
smoothieooo · 26/04/2013 17:29

In fact I'm utterly shit at any kind of relationship advice but if it's culinary wisdom you're after... Grin

Report
OhWesternWind · 26/04/2013 18:40

Oh dear have said yes to the engineer and made rash promises to Indie about goings on in darkened underpasses (for those if you old enough to remember the Smiths).

Report
Flipper924 · 26/04/2013 18:49

Thanks all for comments on my profile! Will make changes later.

Bill, no offence taken at all!

Kirsty, good points too.

Jules, mwah.

And by the way, you are all absolutely gorgeous. Dutchy and KWFWB must be very proud of themselves!

Smoothie, I just can't stand name calling, of any sort. That would be a deal breaker for me.

Report
MirandaWest · 26/04/2013 19:01

I have done good risotto before so should be OK - is just a general lack of faith in my own abilities Grin.

His DS went on a university visit today - sometimes I do feel we are in slightly different places in terms of children (mine are 9 and 7 and his is 18) although he's only 3 years older than me. Am probably inventing things to worry about though I should think.

Report
KinNora · 26/04/2013 19:12

So you can cook risotto then, Miranda...

(If it doesn't work just sex him up)

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

MirandaWest · 26/04/2013 19:24

I'll probably do that whatever tbh Grin

Report
AndLibbyMakesThree · 26/04/2013 19:54

Delurking briefly to say that The Smiths are my all-time favourite band, so if Indie's a Smiths fan, he certainly gets my vote, OWW!

Hello to everyone. I'm still reading every post and wishing everyone lots of good dates. Very excited for you Juliette. Sorry to hear about your mum 48 and hope she recovers from the UTI soon. Miranda, I'm very impressed you can make risotto.

Report
HeyBeenTryingToMeetYou · 26/04/2013 20:14

Hi lovely thread people

Am feeling slightly ??? about my first 24 hours on OKC. Quite a few messages from people no where near my town, including a lovely one about 300 kms away, several 'U look nice wanna chat x' type crap, the one guy I've been interested in sent me a positive email about my pics, but then nothing (although he did visit) and now nothing. Actually, I shouldn't be bemused, this is all very typical given all that I've read on the dating threads. Still not entirely convinced any of this will actually lead to a date though? Confused

Bant any chance Buffy was feeling a bit self conscious about introducing you to her friends? It can be hard work sometimes when 2 different parts of your life come together.

Sorry about your mum 48, hope she is on the mend soon.

Voice sorry to hear you are down, I've been there too far too often. It sounds a bit naff but exercise and fresh air really do work to get you in a better place (even just for a short while).

Am excited for you Juliette Grin and engineer sounds a wise move OWW just in case?

Yay re Cuthbert Velvet, hope you have a lovely day.

smoothieoo, being pleased about lack of defuzz hassle may be a sign, probably the time to step back and have a think about what you really want?

spence I would personally avoid the office situation voice of bitter experience

Big weekend waves to rest of thread.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.