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(8 Posts)
daisygatsby Thu 25-Apr-13 09:32:06

Have posted before about DHs drinking problem. Last year we had a major incident involving his drinking which led him to admit he was abusing alcohol (though not an alcoholic) and he really wanted to change and was sorry etc.

This led to a couple of months of him not drinking at all and now he has a few drinks at the weekend in the house. Last night he went out to a concert for the first time in ages and I was nervous as I knew he would have a drink. Just wasnt sure how many.

He came back around 1am and was quiet enough so didnt think he was too bad. This morning, I can tell he is pretty hungover, then driving into work he nearly knocks someone off their bike (I think he only missed them cos i shouted watch the bike)

Am I right to be really pissed off about this?

HeySoulSister Thu 25-Apr-13 09:35:22

He nearly injured someone and you need to ask us if yabu to be pissed off?

He is still over the limit.... How would your lives be affected if he lost his licence?

daisygatsby Thu 25-Apr-13 09:40:25

I know ; its just his drinking is such a massive issue for me I someimtes question myself as to whether im overreacting about it.

It wouldnt bother me if he lost his licence as I drive too but he would be outraged since he loves his car. obvioulsy i dont wish he had hit the cyclist but maybe losing his licence would have shocked him.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 25-Apr-13 09:49:11


Do you think he is an alcoholic despite his protestations (denial) to the contrary?. They all actually say sorry and want to change; its probably as well what you wanted to hear. Also he does not have to drink everyday to be alcoholic.

Losing his licence may well not shock him enough. He has to want to seek help of his own accord re his drink problem and he is not doing so. You cannot make him seek help. You are also playing a role here in this too. You're enabling him and enabling only gives you a false sense of control.

I do not think you are overreacting at all; his selfishness at driving a car whilst still potentially over the limit is breathtaking in its arrogance. If he was prosecuted due to drink driving it would not just affect him but you as a family as well.

daisygatsby Thu 25-Apr-13 10:15:07

atilla he definitley is an abuser of alcohol.i dont think he could contemplate a life without it.

things are pretty tough for us financially at the moment and i think he sees it as his only 'release'

HeySoulSister Thu 25-Apr-13 10:19:15

How much is he spending on alcohol?

He sounds like an alcoholic to me

daisygatsby Thu 25-Apr-13 10:35:35

not too much soul , but thats mainly becuase we have very little money atm. he will spend all his spare cash on getting a few cans in for the weekend though.

i hid a bottle of wine from him because i knew he would drink it all ni one night. he found it, and he did.

gertrudestein Thu 25-Apr-13 11:12:29

If you haven't already, I really recommend you buy him this book

Nobody thinks a self help book can deal with this kind of problem but it really, really, really works.

I can identify with your DP. He is being selfish and dangerous and no doubt thinks there is no alternative to drinking the way he does. But I read this book 5 years ago and turned my life around! Sorry to sound so evangelical but it is just absolutely amazing.

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