I have realised with overwhelming relief that my sister has been gaslighting me for years. Finally I know my instincts were right and I've been claiming back my feelings and my reality after her telling me for 20 years what I feel, think, must do next etc and becoming rageful and punishing if I have any identity of my own. Situation at present is there has been a big bust up and I can comfortably leave it there and go nc. BUT her son has kids the same age as my kids and although she has tried her best to destroy all these relationships, her son is not bold enough to keep relationships with us going unless she is in the picture. She had begun to mess about between me and my kids and that's why I can now go nc, suddenly feels easy. However, what about all the kids and my nephew? I have an image of my family tree trying to flower and none of us can get op and have relationships with her poisoning things all the time, so I'd like to cut her out like dead wood but I don't think her son will see it that way, after all she is his mother and he has lots of fear, his wife is not much better. Do I keep polite contact with her and essentially ignore her to keep the relationships going with everyone or tell nephew that when he can come alone with kids/wife etc then we'd love to see them. TBH I can't stand the sight of her but her power over me has just vanished. What did you do with the gaslighting relationship once you realised what was happening? Oh and she is very very cruel in words and actions.
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