I'll try and be brief. DP and I in the process of buying a house together, hopefully in the next 2 months. He knows my children well as they live with me and he spends a lot of time here at the moment. He has his children (aged 16 and 17) every Saturday night and I've met one of them once and the eldest twice (very briefly the second time, I was simply in the car when his dad picked him up so didn't even talk to him really). All well and good, great kids, meeting went well, they apparently like me but DP has never bothered to arrange another meeting. There has been a few great opportunities, one being that we are going to a show his kids would love - I suggested we take them and DP made excuses. Another one was a day trip we could do that would be perfect for his kids - again he put it off and put it off and it never got arranged. So yesterday I put it to him that I hardly know his kids and very soon the poor sods will be expected to stay with me every saturday night despite the fact that they don't even know me. I said I felt a little "shunned" by his behaviour and feel that he should want me to get to know his kids and I feel a bit rejected that every time I try and get to know them, he pulls them away from me. He said he understood what I was getting at. In the same conversation I said I felt a bit down that I was on my own all weekend every weekend. Especially when the weather is nice, he's off with his kids, my kids are with their dads, my friends are with their families and I feel really bloody lonely at the moment. It would be nice to be included now and again you know? not all the time, I know they need their "dad time" and that's cool - but every now and again, when the weather is nice, would it kill them to let me come along for the ride? Especially as we still need to get to know each other before the house move. DP again says he understood.
So today, blazing sunshine outside and my kids have gone with their dad as planned. I'm sat on my own in the house wondering what the hell to do as my friends are all busy. DP text me about an hour ago saying "are you all on your lonesome now? I'm just off to the river front with the kids ... "
So part of me is thinking "yeah I'm on my lonesome, thanks for rubbing it in" but then another part of me is thinking "Oh hang on, he's obviously finding out if I'm on my own as he can pick me up on their way to the river, after yesterdays conversation and all ... " so feeling slightly more cheery I reply "yes, the kids have been picked up, I'm alone now :-) " and he replied ....... "ok, I'll see you tonight when I've taken the kids home x"
wtf?? why even ask if I'm on my own then?? is he just trying to be a twat and pull on my strings or what? It's like he deliberately goes out of his way to upset me sometimes.
Go on, you can all tell me I'm being unreasonable now but christ, all I want to do is get to know his children before we become a "blended family", for their sake more than mine!! is that really so unreasonable?
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Relationships
Deliberately being an arsehole or just not thinking?? or am I being unreasonable in the first place??
Peachyz · 20/04/2013 16:36
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