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When do I just give up on this relationship?

(3 Posts)
bourneout Sat 20-Apr-13 10:39:50

DP is incapable of being honest. Particularly about money. He has lied and spun his financial situation for almost the whole 10 years we have been together. I thought we had finally turned a corner last year when he entered a Debt Scheme - and has been sticking to it. He told me that it would be running for about another year.

I've just discovered, by the public register, that the scheme was varied last month and won't be cleared until 2020!

He hasn't talked to me about this. I don't know why he has varied it (or if one of his creditors had). But it makes things bloody difficult. I had been hoping to set up a business but can't see me getting any bank lending as we have a joint mortgage. I think it also realistically stops us moving house.

And if interest rates go up we are fucked. As I had been counting on the scheme being paid off before the economy recovers. - although at the rate George Osbourn is going that might be 2020 anyway.

I just don't know if I can put up with all the lies anymore. If it wasn't for the kids I think I would have left now anyway..

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 20-Apr-13 10:44:17

Why are you together at all given his lying over money?. The children should not be the glue that binds you together now. Your man is a millstone around your neck and is more than happy to drag you down with him.

You perhaps wonder what else he has or is lying about. No trust = no relationship.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 20-Apr-13 12:45:38

Is he aware that situation - both the money and the deception - is bad enough for you to be actively thinking of kicking him out? You have my sympathy. I know just how soul-destroying it is to watch your future being ruined by a partner who lives in a delusional world where 'it'll all be OK', seems determined to spend the money quicker than you can make it... and then lie about it into the bargain. Since the one I was married to made a sharp exit I've never been so well-off.

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