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How should DP handle this?

(8 Posts)
Trixidoll Sat 20-Apr-13 09:35:21

A women at my DPs work has been sending him increasingly inappropriate messages over the last few months.
He told me about his suspicion that she might like him a bit too much as soon as he started receiving theses messages every Friday night. I have seen his early replies to her and fully believe him that this crush has not been encouraged in anyway.
DP successfully interviewed for a new job which means he will be leaving in July and this women took a day off work saying she couldn't cope when she found out.
As DP has not responded to her messages for a some time she sent one during our holiday to say she was sorry, going through a tough time at home and to apologise to me.
All fine till last night when two messages arrive asking DP to meet her today or lose her forever! WTAF?
Obviously DP is not going to go. I have advised him to call his line manager today to finally let her know and to keep all the messages this woman has sent him.
What else should he do?

Cherriesarelovely Sat 20-Apr-13 10:01:48

Thank goodness he is leaving! I agree, ignore all texts and report to line manager. This is like stalking and must be really creepy and upsetting.

Cherriesarelovely Sat 20-Apr-13 10:03:35

Actually, if she continues he will have to go to the police...the bit about having a day off work because your Dh is leaving is very worrying!

JennyWren Sat 20-Apr-13 10:14:50

Is it possible that she is unwell? Without wishing too go into too many details, a close relative of mine had a similar way-off delusion which came to light when her bipolar disease first became a problem. I am not at all dating that this is the deal, but please consider talking to hr rather than the police... In out case, when it all came to light a colleague phoned as a friend and helped us fill in the gaps. She didn't call on behalf of the company, I guess there would have been confidentiality concerns, but as a friend who had met the family before she called us. I will be forever grateful for that - she didn't have to but it was very helpful in our ensuring we got the right medical care for our relative. She was a real friend.

Trixidoll Sat 20-Apr-13 11:15:34

I don't really know her Jennywren. We think she is just unhappy in her life/marriage and has decided that DP will fix everything.
I wouldn't consider the police unless she got abusive, made threats or hinted that she knew where we lived.
Should DP reply to say he won't be going? I kind of feel for her, sitting there all afternoon hoping DP will turn up.

Fleecyslippers Sat 20-Apr-13 11:24:04

I am assuming that he has already rild her directly and in no uncertain terms that he finds her messages innapropriate and telling her not to contact him again. If she has ignored this then he needs to change any persinal number she has and speak to his line manager about how to handle any work based contact.

Fleecyslippers Sat 20-Apr-13 11:24:37

Told not rild....

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sat 20-Apr-13 11:27:18

I would go with him. Show up together.

That's really bad advice, I am not recommending that you do that, it's just what I would do. I don't always do the sensible thing grin

The sensible thing to do would be to not reply and to print out all communication and present it to HR and say that they need to be aware of this because it has verged on stalking and he is concerned that she may transfer her behaviour to another person after he leaves.

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