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Telling the children

(5 Posts)
ClaraBean Fri 19-Apr-13 18:07:53

Hello, I am after some advice please!
Dh and I split last September, definitely over. He has kind of moved out, being here 3 nights a week (when I go to see friends, sometimes we watch a movie together) and at his brothers the other nights.
We haven't told the children yet, as his job requires him to leave for work before they wake up, and come home after they are in bed anyway, so they haven't noticed his absence really.
we are getting on quite well now, but he will be moving out properly in September, which will give him somewhere to take the children, so he won't need to be here.
I feel as though we should tell them whats going on, I feel terrible lying to them, but exdh thinks we should wait until he gets his own place, so it is clear to them what is going on (Mums house/Dads house being separate) rather then tell them we have split, but then he is here a lot seeing them and sleeping on the sofa. He thinks this will be confusing for them.
He cannot get a place before September unfortunately, and I don't want him to rush into a crappy place sooner, as I want the kids to have somewhere decent to go.
So, my question is, should we tell them now, or wait until he is about to move out in September? The dc are aged between 5-11 btw.

ClaraBean Fri 19-Apr-13 19:15:51


LittleYellowBall Fri 19-Apr-13 21:32:39

Honestly? I think you're kidding yourself if you think they don't know.

ClaraBean Fri 19-Apr-13 21:49:00

I am pretty convinced they don't know. I really am. However, obviously I can't be certain. So, you think we should tell them, and then carry on the way we are?

cooper44 Fri 19-Apr-13 22:03:10

Clara - am in similar situation and you would never know we have split up also. No-one would have any idea unless they saw sleeping arrangements etc.

I think wait until your OH is moving out because that's an awful long time especially for your youngest - you tell them something huge, but then you are both still there for the next five months or so. I think it's too confusing for kids. Whereas a physical split is a lot more obvious and clear cut for them to adapt to.

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